Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc., and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personalities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML
Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
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Top comments
Butterbuns 1
....Wow. YDI, for being lame enough to BE comparing dick sizes with your friends. Do you not have anything better to do?
henri_fml 0
didn't you know the size of your own dick before you entered a measuring contest?
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Comments (269)
hayno 0
thats gotta suck
ky_stone22 0
agreed. good luck OP.
Rayne67 0
Ok so youre really fail. And i just thought i'd point out that **** stars have large penis'. That's why they are **** stars. If you seem the think that an eleven inch **** is normal, then you are sadly mistaken. And i guarantee that your nothing more than about 5 inches your self. Good job looking like a ****-face in front of all these people. Are you happy now?
sorry4u 0
ouch!
marcolin 0
Agreed 2, poor lad... How small are you then? xD
lmmmr 0
No, it's alright. He can still help girls with their math homework.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
lol @ 2 and even more @ 84...and have a lot of fun explaining your nickname to any chick you ever talk to, cause you know if your friends are around, they're gonna walk up and be like 'hey, stereotype, who's this?' course, you could just say that you got it 'cause your good at math or terrible at driving...
MrsFxckIt 0
lol genius comment:] Anywho, OP you're gay and retarded. First of all, why do you care whose dick is largest? You obviously must've known you were small. Second of all, how are you comfortable just pulling down your Boxers oh wait sorry..Tidy Widies for your friends to check you out? Gay. You and your friends are total losers..YDI
cheeter 0
meh nothing wrong with Mr. OP being curious to see if the stereotype was true.
Xader 0
So, did you still enjoy the rest of the circle jerk?
klumzy0123456789 6
ewww. next time dont show off ur parts
BLNovelist 0
I'm not sure how you could deserve that....though I wouldn't say your life is ****** either. -shrugs-
Snip3r_Kitty 0
YDI for doing something gay, not for being Asian you racist ****.
Quest_ 13
Don't tell someone else off for being racist while simultaneously making a slur towards homosexuals, you imbecile.
dusty1030 0
Don't tell some one off for being insensitive to gay people while simultaneously calling them stupid, you hypocrite.
HeyItsWill12 0
I hope you just used a ruler.. one at a time in a bathroom or something.. cause thats awkward.
IceCubez 0
Don't tell someone off for being hypocritical while calling them.....I killed off the chain.
allylalala 0
lmfao i think they just said it......not like showed it lol
blue_dude 0
/facedesk
udontknowme69 0
very awkward
edward12 0
homos arent a race retard
F_U_GUY 0
Don't tell someone off for calling someone stupid while calling them a hypocrite, you respectable person. And no one said homosexuals were a race.
henri_fml 0
didn't you know the size of your own dick before you entered a measuring contest?
Shadow14l 0
It's an excuse for him. They're all homosexual idiots.
jgw10 0
gay
chveya 6
Next time, LIE.
FacePALM24 0
Maybe they compared side by side..
Blue_Coconuts 7
Makes it even gayer. Seeing your buddies **** when it's a practical joke or something is one thing, but openly being a meat gazer for ***** and giggles is pretty gay.
Butterbuns 1
....Wow. YDI, for being lame enough to BE comparing dick sizes with your friends. Do you not have anything better to do?
amodelqueso 0
Ever seen The Book of Love?
jackalope104 0
It's not the size that counts, it's what you do with it.
skim1994 0
Lol I would phrase it like this; Its not the size that matters, its where you get to put it
SurfDaWave 0
Welcome to my world. Except I'm on the opposite-Asian side of it =(
add899 0
Taryn, have u never been on a boat? smaller bots have more motion an rocking while bigger ones are smoother. I don't think that helps the argument much tho. I too, am asian
albert17 0
which brings us to our next question. Which stereotype is true for Tiger Woods? =p
Thepzzzz12 0
This Definitely Should Say: Today, Me and My Friends Decided To Compare Dick Sizes. FML
ananamoose 0
seriously, wtf that's not weird at all???? find some productive activites to do or something!! Monopoly for crying out loud!
chveya 6
Y'know, it's kind of pointless to reply to an early comment that you aren't even talking about when you're just one number after them. I've seen people in the hundreds do it, but c'mon. This is ridiculous.
debbtennis 0
How bout you learning some Grammar. instead of me and my friends it should be ; my friends and I. Stupid ass. Before making fun of people, learn grammar. ass hole.
spacer_ 0
jaysus he was making a point. Since when does grammar on the net have to be perfect? Before you start lecturing others on grammar maybe start with the basics like, I don't know, capital letters.
DameGreyWulf 1
Well, it doesn't have to be perfect, but using good grammar (anywhere, not just the Internet) generally makes people think you might have some idea of what you're saying. But "me and [other(s)]" is too common a mistake, speaking and writing, to be ragging on somebody for it, especially if it's the only mistake. I'd actually be more concerned that they're one of those douches who Capitalize Every Letter in Their Sentence Like They Thought Their Whole Life Was One Big Movie Title. Nice comeback, though lol As for everyone going "OMG COMPARING SIZES LIEK GROSS!!" I've... never actually heard of this as being an odd practice. I was actually pretty sure that most guys did it at some point or another. Guess not. [shrugs]
lmmmr 0
I think it being such a common mistake is MORE reason to correct it.
DameGreyWulf 1
Ah, well, true enough.
rubberjesus 0
did you seriously just say "how bout you learning some Grammar." LOL FAIL
loludeserveit 0
while being a grammar Nazi, how bout u also use proper spacing and puctuation.
ber5897 4
LOL I totally agree
kyasariin 0
It's 'kay, bud. We Asian's gotta stick together. xP
deaditegirl 0
YDI for comparing dick sizes. Get some hobbies or something.
Lepton 0
Yep, what deaditegirl says.
spamky 7
Agreed, who the **** measures their dick sizes with their friends?
Diligent17 4
O_O...well at least you still have your pride!(What's left...)
toodrunc2no 0
... and in what way does he still have pride?