Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
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Top comments
Zenma 0
I smell win(d).
allmidnighteyes 11
What... the ****?
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Comments (158)
four_knives 4
haha I can't believes
Dreamworld_fml 0
LOL! Its FMLs like these that make me keep reading them all lol! That sucks for you but its so freakin hilarious lol!
usagicookies 1
I'm sorry, but this is hilarious.
AndelleRae 9
Hahaha, my sister wakes herself up with her own farts all the time. I'm sorry you got punched in the face, but seriously, this is hilarious.
Jagger117 0
that made my day :)
WorkThatButt 2
Tell your girlfriend to work that butt...sexually
plexico 4
She farted in your general direction and then taunted you a second time! She's French. That's why she has that outrageous accent, you silly king!
simply_smile 0
hahaha nice reference to a funny movie
hazza_1234 0
holy grail mention FTW!
boomstick 0
This might be my most favorite FML entry ever.
musiclife_fml 0
plexico +1000 WIN for the Python reference
Playdate 0
Omg! I am sorry for you OP but this is funny!! I am still laughing and I have read all the comments! Priceless!