Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Love is…
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Drunk hookup ends with a… bang
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Ouch!
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Top comments
Jackey 29
Flatulence happens. If you're together for any length of time, there will be many noxious odors in your future.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Maybe her unconscious mind was trying to tell you something.
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Comments (9)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Maybe her unconscious mind was trying to tell you something.
Jackey 29
Flatulence happens. If you're together for any length of time, there will be many noxious odors in your future.
samomaha 17
Yep. Just a part of life.
horsebabe86 11
Sounds exactly what my husband and I do to each other!!😂
alicelouise66 5
so you never fart? you act like she's the only person in the world who does. that's ridiculous. ydi
Nhayaa 21
Are you sure she was asleep?
alycion 39
This would have resulted in a laughing fit so bad, she would have woken up.
Henry8cooper 15
Strange 🤔 everybody knows women never farts...it's genetical...farting is attached to the y-chromosome somehow.
peithecelt 28
... and now I wonder if my boyfriend is on FML.... 😥