Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zenma 0
I smell win(d).
allmidnighteyes 11
What... the ****?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
Calaura9 0
I would do this to my boyfriend. I have gas AND sleeping issues.
Dragonmouth 4
Farts are always funny.
Bloodknight 22
Bwahahaha!
sammy6597 0
i actually laffed ahaaha you have a stupid girlfriend :L no offence :]]
shmexyfooker 0
How is she stupid? lol Btw..dude....I spit my soda out at this......
laughingman 0
illustrate this fml
Loveluck13 0
ahahahahahaahaahahahahahahaha.
sobe23 0
lmao!!! so funny!!
TheTruth1428 0
I'm not so sure I believe this FML. If you were sleeping and she was, neither of you would have known it was her fart that woke her up. If you were awake, there's no reason you shouldn't have been able to avoid getting hit.
sadistmonkey 19
maybe it was loud enough to wake both of them up and but only the girlfriend reacted that way?
JessiGoose 0
He never said he was asleep.
texxxasissouth 0
lmao ******* owned! roll with the punch, in case she "wakes up" again in the future.
baby_love 0
lmfao!