Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zenma 0
I smell win(d).
allmidnighteyes 11
What... the ****?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
SS_Anon 0
two words: FUKKIN SAVED!
Zero198209 0
get her back----STEP ONE--EAT LOTS OF BEANS.BURRETOS ECT.STEP 2 ---CONVINCE HER TO GIVE U SOME BRAINS---STEP 3---CROP DUST HER FACE JUST AS YOUR SPOUTING OFF... STEP 4 PULL OUT AND RUN LIKE HELL...... LOL
dsnke1 0
lmao #114. if it was me i would take a dump on her head while shes giving head
anbu4312 0
Your gf is an epic idiot........lmao
jmoose311 3
YDI. You shouldn't be sleeping with girls unless you're married first. You shouldn't have even been in the same bed.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Oh, grow up.
SiLvEr_070 5
I agree, he should go back to the monastery =]
kristabelle 0
Nice #96! this FML is my fav for sure!!! I too have startled myself awake with an earth shaddering kaboom lol can't stop laughing!!!
guy_on_the_couch 0
LMAO! AWESOME! That will keep me laughing for days!
gerb234 0
i cant stop picturing it hahahahhaahhaa
sarahandchanel 0
LMFAOOOO
mich_20 0
I could not stop laughing when I read this! So funny!
Mr_schadenfreude 0
that's quite an idea for an alarm clock you got there!