Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
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Top comments
Tamandua 19
Since she wasn't sure who she was touching, perhaps the fart was a defense tactic in her dream, and helped her avoid some unsavory person.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
That's true love.
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Comments (9)
SKYstlimit 11
so I screen shotted this and sent it to my boyfriend saying its probably something I would do, his response? you have done that. you're not alone op
Tamandua 19
Since she wasn't sure who she was touching, perhaps the fart was a defense tactic in her dream, and helped her avoid some unsavory person.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
That's true love.
602offroad 12
Maybe she was dreaming she was a bat, and that was her form of echo location.
Rented_eyebrows 18
I smell love in the air :3
tedfragle 12
Skunk protection reaction
iwin8166 13
This isn't a fml. This is just hilarious.
IrishRover82 0
That's true love right there. Not even The Princess Bride could top that.
O1010010010100 1
sounds like love to me