Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
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Top comments
Zenma 0
I smell win(d).
allmidnighteyes 11
What... the ****?
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Comments (158)
Queenbea27 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
frickish 0
'today in the middle of the night' do you even look at what you write?
sugar_407 0
they all start with "today" can't change that.
elizanena9 0
ha! that's funny. i could totally picture that. lol. :)
roxxy329 4
haha. That must of sucked but its funny as hell:)
yetrs 0
LOL
itsover_9000 0
I agree, that's just fricken hilarious..sucks for your face though
Crunchy08 0
haha. that's funny!
Ninjaface 0
You're lucky to have such a caring girlfriend. I mean, she attempted to break your nose just so you wouldn't have to smell her fart! Talk about going the extra mile.
Gruffy 0
ROFL....I'm sure that'll help him sleep at night!
Witchcraft_fml 5
It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard, for sure.
briiittxxhc 0
Lol, omg that still has me laughing and probably will for a while!
Gruffy 0
OMFG!! that's prolly the funniest damn thing ive ever heard! sux 2 be u, but DAMN that's funny