Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
Michael Wood_279567485 8
I assume what you meant to say is you woke up to a criminal assault... not that it matters why, but also, it was because of something fictional that never happened. Either she needs a therapist or you need an exit strategy.
hopejm 5
you need to say good bye. that is sooo not an excuse to hit you. especially because she knew it was a dream when she did it. she's testing just how fast she can go with you and get away with. stop it now!!!
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
You probably deserved it. She sensed you've been giving something to all her friends, but not to her. Symbolically, that something was Taco Bell, but we can only guess what it represents in real life.
Brightside86 31
If the genders were reversed this would be considered abusive...As is she just seems kind of quirky.
Michael Wood_279567485 8
I assume what you meant to say is you woke up to a criminal assault... not that it matters why, but also, it was because of something fictional that never happened. Either she needs a therapist or you need an exit strategy.
Dirtysalamander1 13
you rhink that was assault? lol
ChipBoundary 9
Factually, by law, it is. Somebody's feelings and opinions don't enter into it. At minimum it is domestic violence.
hopejm 5
you need to say good bye. that is sooo not an excuse to hit you. especially because she knew it was a dream when she did it. she's testing just how fast she can go with you and get away with. stop it now!!!
yoitsky9 2
welp u shoulda bought taco bell my guy 😂
OnReceivingEnd 18
"So what you're saying is that it's okay to smack you around in bed? Good to know. I've got all these fantasies involving extremely rough sex I've been trying to play out...."