Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
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Top comments
Zenma 0
I smell win(d).
allmidnighteyes 11
What... the ****?
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Comments (158)
Zenma 0
I smell win(d).
PumpkinTarte 0
Haha nice joke, if only I could see any win. What a lame girlfriend.
ILIEKGIRLS 5
i lol'd
Reyo 2
Oh wow...just the thought of that had me laughing to the point of almost throwing up.
J3553ROCKS 0
What's up with the French and their odd obssession with girls farting? You sick French!
PaulWeller 0
I've been quite depressed lately, I'm not going to lie. This FML made me laugh for 10 minutes straight. Thank you, OP.
allmidnighteyes 11
What... the ****?
SiLvEr_070 5
LOL, I know right?! That's what i was thinking =]
hellokittywhore 0
lol me too. poor guy. his face is all O_X
FrescoLove 10
talk about a rude awaking .!
je_tdwp 4
Dude it's the French, that's a common response for half the crap those people do.
lfc4life 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
allmidnighteyes 11
lol, Ceaser. I take it Gassius and Booty-us were there, too? Also... How the hell is punching someone in the face a reflex to your own farting? I would hate to be around you at a gassy time.
allmidnighteyes 11
Yeah, disoriented by the perfuming odor of her gassy release. I'm sure it smelled like freshly picked roses and bubble bath =]
allmidnighteyes 11
The exploration of new fetishes isn't what I'm perturbed by. What scares me most is the question, "What if she farts during anal?"
tashi_fml 0
HAH!!! totally hilarious....silly farter!!!
LemursonTuesday 0
Definitely a win. Everyone farts, so it's not a FYL there. But being punched by your girlfriend whom was woken up by her own fart, that's a FYL. I've never been woken up by my own fart.
Luckster 0
I've woken myself up from a sneeze, a cough, swearing in my sleep (wtf?) and even snoring momentarily, but never in my life have I woken up from breaking wind.
DuchessAngel37 0
Okay that's hilarious! I once pushed all the stuff off my end table (including my laptop) as I woke up violently from a dream, and once kicked a boyfriend in the spine.