Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
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Top comments
Ben360 6
Today in the middle of the night....
DigitalKnight 0
You interrupted his conversation with the devil.
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Comments (72)
josephhhhhh 0
hahaha. never wake up a man beeeiaaatchhh uahahahahaha
The_Dude_Abides_ 0
agreed YDI you don't ever wake up a sleepwalker or a talking dreamer they will knock you out and not even know why...they always feel bad about it but most times they don't remember it because it was the sleeper that did it not the conscious person you know and love.... i have been there and learned that the hard way lol
Ben360 6
Today in the middle of the night....
Kelita 0
Hahahaha
aardvarkish 17
Two dead boys got up to fight...
rockyraccoon28 8
back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. if you don't believe this lie is true, go ask the blind man. he saw it too. (sorry. I had to.)
CaptinFalconKnig 6
did he say Falcon Punch when he hit you?
cartooncharacter 9
"yes yes he did" is what she would say.
logan_3416 13
Wtf????
yahtzeesouls 12
All fmls require that it starts with todday
picklezz123 5
There are so many fmls like this
DigitalKnight 0
You interrupted his conversation with the devil.
Alanah101 0
ouch? Now you know never to attempt to wake him. While he's in dream land.
dielfrag14 0
do u blame him? he jus wanted a few zzzz's and u interrupted it o.O
iluvanimegurl 0
FALCOM PUUUNCH!!!! (^O^)／
angel55033 12
what show is your anime girl from? :)
coolbeansuh 0
Just let him sleep next time.
angel55033 12
why do people say SQUARE in the face. am I the only one who thinks it sounds stupid, you don't say circle or rectangle or any other shape to the face lol why not smack in the middle, square does not = middle sorry hahaha
Haveintercourse_ 0
I think the term means it's a clean hit. The full rectangle of the human fist makes contact with the face, not a glancing blow.
DocBastard 40
Escaped by the skin of your teeth Dead as a doornail On cloud nine There are plenty of English phrases that make no sense.
Pinkanani 12
Doc, your picture is disturbing!! I can't believe that is real. Why on earth would someone do something like that?!?! I don't even see how that is even physically possible! As a doctor, I'm sure you've seen it all...
DocBastard 40
Oh, it's real. He really put it there, and I really got it out. I've seen all kinds of crazy stuff, but this is my favorite picture.
timothytandem 0
when boxing you make a "square" with your arms, 2 sides at least, that's why it's sometimes called "squaring up" or something similar. if it's square in the face it's right through the guard and in the middle of the "square" you make.
mask724 7
nice tattoo
aardvarkish 17
34, let's play a game... (just kidding)
cartooncharacter 9
I'd"on cloud nine" when the f*** did we start counting the f***ing clouds??
kateindeed 5
POW! Right in the kisser.