Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
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Top comments
evilplatypus 39
What's with all the pregnant crazy lady FMLs lately?
Dadothy 8
Hormones:/ don't worry I'm sure she will get over it
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Comments (144)
Dadothy 8
Hormones:/ don't worry I'm sure she will get over it
defferwa 9
Domestic violence is a serious thing, OP doesn't have to be a victim.
MURIKKA 11
Just play dead OP! It's your only hope!
greenmen 12
Maybe it isn't urs
Jessj958 19
**** you, hormones!!!
subiedude08 17
I suggest the couch tonight
evilplatypus 39
What's with all the pregnant crazy lady FMLs lately?
ydi_4_suking 20
I don't know. And theres a lot of pregnant people in the stores and stuff too
Discombobulated9 12
I'm going to hazard a guess here and say that the majority of women were gifted 50 shades of grey by their boyfriends approximately 3 months ago.
lilred923 0
Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed...or floor
teague95 16
could be the heat making them all crazy
kimmi41509 10
Pregnancy is becoming an epidemic!
TheDrifter 24
Well, here at least, December and January are cold and boring. It leads to a lot of summer pregnancies and the resulting crazy pregnant wife fmls.
negb 30
Don't forget the husband who was jealous of his newborn son breast-feeding
hahasooo 2
Thats wat i said!
LuckyLynx7732 5
50 Shades Of Grey and Magic Mike. Mystery solved.
sux4u121 10
Its a few months adter valentines day
TEXASDude45 5
The question is; did you get the book?
jake3292 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You pushed a pregnant woman on the ground in accident but still she's pregnant
everydayFML2121 5
What are you trying to say or accomplish with this comment?
jake3292 5
I'm saying there baby probably is now mentally challenged
crypticundead 4
He didn't "push" her. He rolled over in his sleep, something he has no control over, and apparently she fell. I can understand her getting mad at first but to continue to be pissed at him about it is just absurd.
Bladian 5
No. It probably isn't. Shut up.
jake3292 5
The domino effect he rolled on top of her thus making her fall off the bed
MURIKKA 11
Sometimes when one is clearly losing, it is better to just shut one's mouth to prevent further embarrassment.
coughyochick 7
Please, die.
everydayFML2121 5
Time to move to the couch op
zandalee 20
Or get another bed while she is pregnant
seriouslythat 6
**** you hormones!!
1happymummy 14
You're a crazy bitch HORMONES, not alison, HORMONES. it's a girl, go buy some pink shit.
gracehi 33
Go **** your bong!
ittsdann 6
I will go **** my bong! Doggy style! For once
Daffodilly 14
I'd be pissed if I got pushed out of bed in the middle of the night. Don't worry about it OP, I'm sure she'll realise soon that it wasn't your fault. I'm always irrationally angry at whoever wakes me up at first, until I wake up a little more.
onlychildFTW 34
And that's you without all the hormones in you.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Exactly. Even if I weren't pregnant, I wouldn't be thrilled about being knocked out of bed. If I were pregnant, I'd probably be sleep-deprived and hormone-induced panic about the health of the fetus would probably push me over the edge.
Daffodilly 14
Haha true. I don't think I would ever punch anyone in the face
zandalee 20
Wait till you get pregnant. All rational thought goes south.
VitalDisplayII 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
have sex with her to make it up
BountyBass 13
That was the problem in the first place
SqueakyChipmunk 22
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.
onlychildFTW 34
60- that's awesome man. Haha. And it's too true.
mimi_animee 18
FYL OP its not your fault OP. My sister always yells at me in the morning because I keep her awake at night alot since I sleep talk..
ChefPhilly 13
Pizza and Pickles my friend
linkinpark98 24
I always thought it was icecream and pickles...
boating_guy 33
...ice cream and chocolate?
SovietBarney 8
Just be happy it was only a punch to the face. If you met some of the ladies i knew when they were pregnant, you would be a woman fearing man.