Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML
Today, my husband was finally moving out. I picked up his enormous duffle bag full of clothes to help get him out faster, and I threw out my back. I now can't move. I can't even wipe my own ass. FML
Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML
Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
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Top comments
xxlk4xx 6
I've been there and it sucks! it's helped me to look up good sleeping positions, pain meds, ice pack, super gentle stretching in that area, get up and walk around a bit but try not to tense that area up! and if it doesn't start feeling better in a week then I would go see a chiropractor if you can. sorry this is happening I know it feels awful
Sweetie 5
Buy a tens unit. they are a lifesaver and Amazon has them for 30 bucks.
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Comments (2)
xxlk4xx 6
I've been there and it sucks! it's helped me to look up good sleeping positions, pain meds, ice pack, super gentle stretching in that area, get up and walk around a bit but try not to tense that area up! and if it doesn't start feeling better in a week then I would go see a chiropractor if you can. sorry this is happening I know it feels awful
Sweetie 5
Buy a tens unit. they are a lifesaver and Amazon has them for 30 bucks.