Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Vaginas. They're grrrrreat!
desoto96 9
Cookie Monster would be proud.
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Comments (130)
DogStew 20
whatever! be glad he went to visit your stank crotch in the first place. you want to know a real turn off? try a knee to the balls!
frottiejoy 7
bwaaahahaaa!!
wellthatsukx 0
Why is it women seemingly never have a sense of humor in bed? Lighten up. It's not like he reminded you of your dead kitten, unless a dog killed it while sounding like "nomnomnom."
I3eefChowFun 7
At least it's showing that he's enjoying it. Besides, it is delicious. Lol
PaperUmbrellas 4
Just imagined my lover doing that. I smiled because the idea is cute. Maybe he was doing something else wrong? If someone was doing that to me who wasn't very good at it, I wouldn't be in the mood for stuff like that.
bexxiiee 11
And the problem iiissss...?
xWhackedPanther 18
Same here !
brandoneyez1 25
Rotflmao that's hilarious... Lol sorry op on the mood kill, but funny as hell.
imaghostbusteryo 1
What an asshole!
blablablabla5555 5
how is that an fml? have some humour OP, it doesn't always have to be dead serious during sex, does it? i think it always quite lightens the mood, and it is pretty funny