Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Vaginas. They're grrrrreat!
desoto96 9
Cookie Monster would be proud.
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Comments (130)
IW_RIOT 7
That's funny. I probably would have done the same thing.
KociaQ 30
You have no sense of humor :P
martin_martian7 11
Well I guess he is Pac Man! :0
buckdharma 38
your boyfriend eats pussy like a fat boy eating cake. tell him dont worry theres plenty left.
Steve95401 49
OP needs to stop trolling for guys at the middle school.
StanSmith2013 26
Who knows, maybe he was trying to find the resonance frequency of your clit?
supimnyancat 9
Today, my boyfriend ate me out. FML
tlnkerbeii10 3
Felt good though right?
Derpylicious 3
Did you at least get a laugh out of it? If not develop a sense of humor. Then let him know next time that you're after sex and not laughs to prevent this from happening again.
SwtCherryPie 26
You beat me to it. OP needs to lighten up a bit. If it was your first time receiving, I can understand you were probably nervous and he probably was too. Joking may have been a way for him to calm his nerves even. Either way, lighten up and if you dont like the joking, let him know instead of crying to people on the internet about it.
aloring 14
Maybe he was just nervous.. Or maybe you seemed nervous so he was trying to make you laugh?