Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Vaginas. They're grrrrreat!
desoto96 9
Cookie Monster would be proud.
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Comments (130)
hahu 6
thinking of it....u have no reason to hate tht!! it is adorable.
idoitlikeasir 1
lmfao xD
crackajack25 1
Ha i have a feeling i know who that was, besides me
beyeswdragon 2
Awesome boyfriend is awesome! :D
shabbydoooo 8
Haha this made me laugh out loud forreal.
Axel5238 29
Unfortunately for the op there is now a generation of kids that think quoting meme's in real life is hysterical, when it just makes them look like an ass or really immature.
jaxv95 7
The most important meal of the day!
krillkel 2
HAHAHAHAHA! Awwww that is just awesome.
BoogerDawson 6
If your vag don't smell then don't discourage him.
BloodSand 5
xD I've done this before! The first time I gave my ex oral as well. Except I said "omnomnomnomnom" Starting with an "O" you see. :3