Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Vaginas. They're grrrrreat!
desoto96 9
Cookie Monster would be proud.
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Comments (130)
TehGinga94 21
That would happen to me. Damn nerdy boyfriends. ;)
jeffmusson1309 1
This made me laugh so hard
Ray_of_midnight 23
What? I've done this. You have no sense of fun. "C is for ******** and that's good enough for me!"
rayyyyyy 2
Gentleman Cho'gath!
Leftoverjello 6
Dines in your fur box and has a sense of humor? You've got a winner.
TheInfamousJosh_fml 12
Why is that an FML? Your a stuck up bitch.
Miltonius 15
Tsk tsk. Shame on your BF, OP, for talking with his mouth full. Silly manners.
redheadedasian 2
I like how it feels when my boyfriend makes lip contact and blows on it, because it feels like a vibrating bullet, but that makes farting noises and kills the mood :(
witchdoctor1 9
I'd get that checked. Farting vaginas sounds dangerous 0.o. Although its probably just the air he blows escaping. Well...this awkwardly escalated XD
jfish7 4
God my ex would do this and it was one of the reasons I was happy to get rid of him
goose12321 11
What's the big deal?