Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Nomnom
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Superfuzz Big Muff
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Great idea
Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
This doesn't feel nice
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
Woof woof
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Top comments
xxElle 0
at least he added "deliciousness"...?
TheWhiteDemon 0
...and? what is he supposed to say thar it was like "eating at a buffet"?
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Comments (206)
TheWhiteDemon 0
...and? what is he supposed to say thar it was like "eating at a buffet"?
trueblue42 4
ew. shave your junk, that's disgusting.
Einstein714 0
this isn't an fml idiot
KingDingALing 9
Hahaha, I remember that one, #11.
free2speak 14
you know what? now that I think about it... I think it's slightly unhygienic as well not to at least keep it trimmed. i know that when mine gets longer than half an inch, it feels disgusting down there. As if I'm trapping sweat and filth so I never let it grow past 1/4 an inch or so. I shave it at least once a week. try it op. it feels so much better down there and be sure to use tons of shaving cream and exfoliate and moisturize as the area everyday as it seems to be prone to ingrown hair, redness, and itch. good luck!
katplayer 4
You feel disgusting, therefore everyone does. Right. I trim myself, but I never had a hygiene problem before I started. :/
syedlink27 0
free2speak: are you interested in a test-drive?
MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
I shave that. no need to grow a national forest in your pants.
MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
I shave that. no need to grow a national forest in your pants.
JajaFMLer 3
LOL
EvilDoll 7
but then where would all of my wild life live?
passlepaul 0
wow, that's gross haha.
free2speak 14
I said it's slightly unhygienic to let it grow that long because you're trapping "stuff" down there. I won't go into the explicit details of what "stuff" is because if you're a woman you already know. I said I feel disgusting if it does.
goodnesspeople 1
That's why you wash it #64. Yeah, it's hair, it'll get gross if you don't wash it with soap. I love how you say it feels so much better down there, but then go on to list some pretty nasty side effects. Sounds like a commercial for medications. I shaved for years, then this last year I realized how much better it feels down there with some CLEAN hair as opposed to the ingrown hairs, redness, and the awful itch (oh and the fact that you still look pre-pubescent down there)
hexo21 13
You're comebts are a zero pair.
xxElle 0
at least he added "deliciousness"...?
NightSkyx 0
in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight...
brightnite 0
Elle why does your pic look like your 12
iGrenade 0
welcome to the jungle, we got fun n' games. we got eveything you want, honey we know the names. we are the people you can find, whatever you may need. if you got the money honey we gotcho disease. in the jungle, welcome to the jungle watch me bring it to your shananananananana knees knees! i wanna watch you bleed!
rockstatic 0
Yeah, how is that even an insult. She should be lucky that she doesn't trim and he puts up with it. Most girls are incredibly gross to go down on when they don't shave.
5t3ff1k4h 47
125 - If they shower regularly they shouldn't be.
rasta_pasta 4
Doesn't matter how much you wash, no one likes pulling pubic hair out of their teeth.
lmtlmt 7
127, your far from correct, pubic hair is gross, on men and woman
Pearljammer001 0
what girl doesn't have a delicious crotch?
5t3ff1k4h 47
138- That's true, but I was making a point on hygiene. 140- Look it up. The hair is meant to be there for a reason. It's OP's choice if she wants to shave it or not. You have no right to call something that happens normally gross.
mamiiLinda_MAE 0
I always say not too much & not too little , some guys like the hair .. so ladies just shave the part where their tongue is going to be goingg ..
NuTrees 9
well, I trim.. I love my bush and I love for my man to have a bush as well. I love the hair.
Baytheshark 14
I have already decited that 1 day before I get married I am going to tell my husband to make a list of every place he wants waxed, everything else Is staying like it is. Problem solved.
hhaalleeyy 0
Hey at least he said it was delicious! Shave if your uncomfortable with the furry title.
DjeePee 25
Why the **** are you complaining? You have a funny boyfriend who gives you a sweet compliment with a little joke in it, and you're upset about it? How many guys say they're entering 'a jungle of deliciousness', how many? Pflrbl. Oh, and you know it good enough if you're hairy, you even can do something about it if you want, but don't be suprised about a comment like that. Shaving is a personal choice, good for you if you don't want to be bald there, and even better for you that you have a boyfriend who does not find that discusting. There aren't many of those, I guess. Today, my boyfriend gave me a compliment and made a joke where he tells me that he accept me the way I am. FML.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Exactly, he could have said a smelly jungle. At least he is willing to go down if you are that hairy
karimkz 0
last time i check vajs had no taste but a smell
InDenial 6
Haha, nice one Alan.
Igor_g5 0
Apparently you never had none. Or you have no sense of taste.
syedlink27 0
last time was prolly a never you don't have to lie.. def virgin alert
allmidnighteyes 11
Last name, "Always"; first name, "Virgin"
Igor_g5 0
Every pussy I ever ate had taste. And I've spent many years perfecting the art of eating pussy.
sarcdude 3
hey, that's offensive! I'm a virgin, I just spell a lot... better. Be politically correct. >_>
smartash20 0
Oh Alan!! You sir be funny :D
babyblueyes 27
gatta shave that shit
xThatAsianGurlx 0
Now you know to shave :)
corytheboss 0
nasty! YDI for not shaving!
worm36pitcher 0
you're pretty hot and I love to be me as well. phone #?
kc23x 0
yuuuuck , get ridda that hair !! thats filthy.. hahah foul
elizacandle 29
there's nothing foul about hair . (assuming decent hygiene)
jacketfootball 0
he obviously likes it...
underguarded 20
Who the he'll was he telling that to? You or someone else? either way is a ******* insult.
sammyray 0
you're an idiot. now that's an insult.
rockhound 0
bwahaha^^ WIN!
Florence_ 0
The iPod autocorrects 'hell' to 'he'll'. Don't blame him. Blame Apple.
The_Big_Mac 7
You do have to admit that was a good insult for the lack of a double check. Even I have issues with the auto correct but that was a well dropped comment insult bomb for poor self-checking skills. op, shave that. We do not want to be in that mess, just like you don't want to be in a full jungle either.
sizzle0914 0
hahaha nice! hahah lmfao!
missamazinggg 12
"my boyfriend was going down on ME"
LiveLaughLove077 0
maybe you should trim down that jungle