Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry, and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying, "My body, my rules." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my now-ex dumped me at a house party, which I then couldn't leave, as all my things were at his house, where I was meant to be staying. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me, "So… when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
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Top comments
haileyrows 26
"My half the rent check, my rules too"
ThatLobster 24
Just say "my body, my rules" back at her and stand in their room, or sit!
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Comments (110)
Saraishi 25
She's a sympathetic one, isn't she?
imbedderdenu 23
She sounds super classy....
NormaBates 10
Punch her in the face. "My fist, my rules".
TRexYouUp 8
This is why I live alone, sorry about your roommate OP
tintin10_fml 13
Noone has time for a sad sack.
TallMist 32
No one has time for a lazy, non-bill paying, no-chores-doing, inconsiderate, unsympathetic bitchy roommate either. (If you're wondering what I'm referring to, scroll down and see OP's follow up.)
dragoongirl90 34
Your roommate is a terrible person.
FaguIous 22
In the apartment? Okay why would you eat chocolate in the apartment when they're banging everywhere? I suggest coffee.
Larentiah 4
Sounds like your roommate is a selfish dumb ****. Time for a new one.
rocketgurl 15
Your roommate is a total ****.
2retz 11
so shit on her bed and if she complains, reply "my body, my rules"