Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML
Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML
Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MidnaLink 35
All of it? Including a couch and coffee table possibly? How?
RichardPencil 32
Is she the Petty roommate because she made you live like a refugee and she won’t back down?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
MidnaLink 35
All of it? Including a couch and coffee table possibly? How?
skippydoda 32
Kick it down.
RichardPencil 32
Is she the Petty roommate because she made you live like a refugee and she won’t back down?
Charlie Given 28
Umm🙄 WOW since your the adult kick her ass out
Jackey 29
Does she have a big bedroom, or do you guys have small furniture?
Lucky O'Guin 18
Did you not know how petty and childish she was before you moved in? If so, ydi. If not, gtfo asap.
BeefyQueefy 14
Since you left out why they were pissed, I'm going to assume you have your part of responsibility in their reaction so YDI for selective details
protoskore 27
lock the bathroom door and refuse to give her the key. see who breaks first.
tounces7 28
Well whose furniture is it?
smartjaguargurl 17
Take all the dishes and lock them in your room