Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
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Top comments
catatonicsleep 17
3 inch layer of dirt, shouldn't you have cleaned them out a long time ago?
Penrhyn 0
A guinea pigs pregnancy is 65-72 days...if this was the first time you cleaned it since you got them then you definitely deserve it. Also, I notice you live in QLD...you do know that there are approximately 300+ guinea pigs languising in Australian Cavy Sanctuary shelters in QLD right? And many more in the NSW + Victorian shelters. If you bred on purpose then you really deserve it.
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Comments (79)
catatonicsleep 17
3 inch layer of dirt, shouldn't you have cleaned them out a long time ago?
ShimmyPizza 0
Exactly.
jakeJIGSAW 2
Well said!
Foxracin 0
agreed
Nilth_fml 0
really shouldnt be that hard to clean it, how can you live with the smell?
xyuukinekox 15
They could've just put too much bedding in it. Tons of people do that. They don't realize how quickly it can get gross.
Raffie_fml 0
FYL. but you should have been more careful
fafa123_fml 0
ouch!
sugarycupcake 0
ydi. be more gentle...
Penrhyn 0
A guinea pigs pregnancy is 65-72 days...if this was the first time you cleaned it since you got them then you definitely deserve it. Also, I notice you live in QLD...you do know that there are approximately 300+ guinea pigs languising in Australian Cavy Sanctuary shelters in QLD right? And many more in the NSW + Victorian shelters. If you bred on purpose then you really deserve it.
starshine3987 0
Btw I just noticed it says "one of them" as in she has many guinea pigs. Seriously, if you have multiple genders of guinea pigs living together this wont be the last litter you have to deal with. Rodents multiply incredibly fast. Please separate the males and females in the litter as soon as you can tell what their genders are. It doesn't take long for babies to mature enough to reproduce themselves. As #5 said there are already tons of animals who don't have homes so allowing them to procreate more is incredibly irresponsible, if not just plain heartless. If I knew you I'd call the humane society and have those poor animals taken away from such a careless pet owner. God forbid you ever have children of your own.
eradonnes 0
people what the ****. leave the girl alone you buttholes
Jimboom 12
Ha ha. Shitface!
Twinklestar 0
3 inches of crap? YDI
faithful_mandy 0
Guinea pigs clean up after themselves after birth. When I had pet guinea pigs and if they had gotten pregnant sometimes I would never know (they would have 1 or 2 and not show) because guinea pigs typically have their births at night/early morning and clean up the stuff themselves. ONE TIME I came home and looking in the cage the cage was clean and the baby wasn't yet clean.
Ketsuhime 0
Use newspaper on the bottom then put bedding on it. When is the last time you cleaned out her cage? Good lord!
itslilly123 0
He said new cage... he most likely got one that was already pregnant, it happened to my sister. So he probably didn't go without cleaning it for months.
myhairynutsack 0
It said there was a 3 inch layer of crap. That says a lot.
simawesome_FYL 0
that's why you start easy and increase pressure with time. YDI
brab009 0
That's what she said.
misspeg 0
*giggles*
KatieGoesRawrr 0
WIN!