Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. While I was at their house I got a tummy ache, then had loud explosive diarrhea. Twice. They definitely heard it all. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
may14th 26
I feel like this is everyone's worst fear
UhHuhHoney 20
Well, be prepared to always have that story be brought up in the future as a funny one haha
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Comments (68)
UhHuhHoney 20
Well, be prepared to always have that story be brought up in the future as a funny one haha
AGB10 19
Look at the plus side - they didn't all smell you
may14th 26
I feel like this is everyone's worst fear
extrasnipes 22
Well to be honest, spiders are a lot scarier then being heard taking a dump.
El_Boxeador 14
And you know what even worse? Not making it to the toilet because there's a spider on it!
grajax 24
"That's a shitty situation." -said no one ever.
katydid91 31
Yeah, I wouldn't say that, it's so obvious it's best left unsaid.
courtz94 24
That's not something you can control. Hopefully no one made it more awkward than it already was. Life happens though.
Miss_Syntax 15
It happens to the best of us! It just sucks. We're all human, OP!
CinematicKid 16
大便！ ^ it means poop.
interesting33 37
Is the exclamation mark part of Mandarin too, as in is it a letter in Mandarin? Or is it just an exclamation mark?
thejonac 21
no the exclamation part has the same punctuation as english
p36288 17
or 拉肚子
jojimugo 20
Your mum is cool
flyingmind_fml 17
well yeah she is
ghetto_child 19
next time open the taps on the sink and pray that they have copper plumbing! if they do, it'll make more noise than you do. if all else fails, just poop like nobody's listening
El_Boxeador 14
Please don't! I would rather be heard than to waste water like that.
flyingmind_fml 17
#18 oh u're such a good kid
awkwardeer 26
I think it's more awkward when people do that. Every time they go to the bathroom I mean.
El_Boxeador 14
@ 34-Or I know the value of water. I didn't grow up having unlimited water at my disposal like you. My state only had running water from 10am-2pm. And some days there was no water at all. Wasting water that ways feels like a slap to the face to the people who don't have access to running water in other parts of the world, which are more than you think, myself included.
Riceball__o3o 15
You seriously couldn't spell out "you"?
hunterluv1 20
um.. diarrhea?
cjb87 23
Umm, British English
meli1195 31
I love how your profile pic goes beautifully with your comment
hunterluv1 20
My bad! should've taken that into consideration before I commented. sorry.