Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry, and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying, "My body, my rules." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my now-ex dumped me at a house party, which I then couldn't leave, as all my things were at his house, where I was meant to be staying. FML
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me, "So… when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
haileyrows 26
"My half the rent check, my rules too"
ThatLobster 24
Just say "my body, my rules" back at her and stand in their room, or sit!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
Cass_x 22
Great roommate you got there.. The least she could do is take your feelings in consideration and be a bit more quiet :/
anonymous100000 17
I would invite her parents over:)
zykrithium 22
Well... she's not wrong...
extrasnipes 22
You could go out with friends to get it off your mind and have fun maybe? But trying to cry and stuff your face works to.
SMHsohard 22
Way to completely miss the point of the FML while still managing to judge the OP.
extrasnipes 22
Im not judging im just stating its obvious shes not going to quiet down. May as well actually go out and be with her friends.
a1_z9 10
Don't get why it's judging, staying home and crying may be most people's first reaction, but getting out of the house to spend time with people who care about you can work wonders!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
"My body, my rule" has nothing to do with having loud sex. Your roommate is not only inconsiderate but vulgar and pretty dumb.
kaed 16
But in this particular context, "My body, my rule" was not a good slogan.
DARKDAY07 16
I'm not sure why number#28 is being down voted I believe he was saying the fml ruined the slogan not #3s comment
VoldooPed 20
It's incredibly inconsiderate but she does kinda have a point...
ProgMetalMan 8
No she doesn't. It's a complete non-sequitur.
miss_amphetamine 24
No, it's just inconsiderate.
natashamilan 13
No she doesnt. What her roommate is doing is completely selfish.
brookiesawr 11
so her roommate isn't allowed to have awesome sex just because op got dumped? sometimes you can't be quiet.
CandyPewPewPew 29
Just shove the chocolate into her mouth and say "My hand, my rules."
JohnTheDonJuan 11
Ever heard the phrase "don't threaten me with a good time..."?
haileyrows 26
"My half the rent check, my rules too"
ThatLobster 24
Just say "my body, my rules" back at her and stand in their room, or sit!
Cassandra2015 21
That would be more awkward , watching them have sex .
AndrewMoreira14 19
It would be more awkward if the roommate didn't care if she was watching and continued to have sex
trtnt25 19
44 some people are into being watched
annihil8or 15
Right #7, because I'm sure her roommate left the door wide open or unlocked while having sex
Cortezthe1st 23
And then tell her boyfriend if she's being that loud, then she's faking it.
howard007 18
Sounds like the start of a porno
Squygm 7
I would sit in the room with them, and if they object, it's your body and you can sit it wherever you please.
JohnTheDonJuan 11
Except that if they split the rent, it's not her room.
Tthug 34
#16, she just said "in my apartment". For all you know they're banging everywhere: living room couch, both beds, i the shower, kitchen counter, etc. OP, I recommend you just leave, go get coffee or something.
TomeDr 25
Time to look for a new roommate.
flyingmind_fml 17
u r such a drama queen !! y would u cry ?
doctorhook86 25
#10: Just a guess, but I think it's because she got dumped. But what do I know? I only read the FML.
Fall3nAngel 23
Because she got dumped..
JohnTheDonJuan 11
#10 has a point here... Who actually plans to cry and eat chocolate? Ok, everybody needs a good cry every now and then, but planning on stuffing your face is just going to drive your dating stock into the dirt.
miss_amphetamine 24
Crying over the end of a relationship does not mean she is a "drama queen." Plus, OP said it's only been a week. The fact that she's hurting means it's totally normal to cry.
Brandi_Faith 34
Plus they could've been dating for years. In which case it's completely normal not to be over that in a week.