Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with a majestic swan by a lake. Just as I was about to take the pic, the swan suddenly got visibly bored of my shit and chased me into the water. I emerged from the lake looking like a soggy, defeated swamp beast. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML
Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dweeds508 24
At least you tried to overcome your fear. Don't listen to the people who laughed at you.
DocBastard 40
Swans have long necks, so they're very easy to strangle. They're also delicious when served over pasta.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
dweeds508 24
At least you tried to overcome your fear. Don't listen to the people who laughed at you.
Little4Bear 10
Exactly OP, you tried :) you'll probably never even see those people again.
ViRepz 28
Everyone knows everyone in Australia!
alicexo_fml 8
Why would you try to face your fear of swans? You probably don't interact with them that often. I don't see how it would interfere with daily life and therefore be significant enough to be proactive about. You basically just went to the park to scare yourself.
chlorinegreen 27
Really 52? She went to scare herself? Maybe she lives by a lake where swans are frequent visitors, or maybe she just wanted to not be scared of something anymore. It's called facing your fears for a reason.
SwaggCapone 11
As bad as it sounds, I would've laughed myself. Watching a swan chase somebody has got to be funny
girlbye23 15
At least your sister didn't take advantage of your fear to get herself tickets.
CrazyJ716 18
I like the taste of humans over bread too!
AnOriginalName 19
I like your profile pic, bro.
sunnyray812 42
Birds aren't always so nice.
AnOriginalName 19
Especially in Australia. Everything down there is trying to kill you!
CrazyJ716 18
Woah dude. Lookin sexy in that picture
AnOriginalName 19
Same to you, 76! I commented that I liked your profile pic on your comment up there ^ but it got deleted. FMC. (**** my comments.)
Queensland 27
You all think koalas are cute and cuddly... Til you meet their twin species. Never go here. Drop bears long for the taste of tourists.
Queensland 27
That'swan unfortunate situation.
The_9th_Doctor 18
Booo. that was bad. I would have said the same.
FluxPavilion 6
So it was bad, but still you would've said it? Butthurt much?
hockey7468 7
Dem stupid puns
DocBastard 40
Swans have long necks, so they're very easy to strangle. They're also delicious when served over pasta.
AprylAnn 23
Lololololol
blackonblight 33
Yeah but they can break a grown man's arm with their wings. Also, have you taken a look at those beaks? Hint: not. nice.
MoronsAccount1 12
I'm assuming a swan has tried to attack your before, since it's a fear. It's okay though, OP. I heard swans were mean as hell, so why even bother? It's not an animal you have to associate with like a pet, so just do your best to stay away.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
They are mean as hell. ******* will chase you down. My grandma laughed her ass off at my brother and I running away from them when we were young. I learned just to grab them by the neck and give them a toss. They'll come back but if you hold your ground they'll eventually stop attacking. God damn swans..
chlorinegreen 27
Swans are freakin mean! I use to think geese were the ones to be scared of but even the geese are scared of swans. Not to mention that swans are HUGE!
babe7260 30
I'm so scared of birds, when I was 6 a 20 lb Turkey knocked me down and jumped on top of me.......Asshole bird
allie2590 31
Haha the turkey must've thought you looked like a dinner table!
stormchaser24 24
I don't blame you, I was chased by a very angry mother turkey one time. I was out in my garden and saw what I thought was a bird on the ground. I got closer, next thing I know mama turkey is chasing me.
Pstraka6 20
It takes a lot of balls to stand up yo your fears, To be truthful if they ran at me I'd probably run away like a school girl too,, so don't knock yourself over about it! You'll be feed geese and large birds in no time
acidrayne420 1
Swans are mean. Screw swans.