Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Nasty
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Traumatized knob
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
southernluxe
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
JoshuasGirl
Grand Rapids, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Frustrated wank
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Rumpkis
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
anonymous
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
nnniii
Seattle, United States 🌶️ Spicy
She's electric
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
bloody good time
🌶️ Spicy
Nosebleed
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Anonymous
Grand Rapids, United States
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Anonymous
Rosetown, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Congrats
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Top comments
AsainChick 0
You shoul probably get that checked out...
saIty 17
That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.
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Comments (209)
tomthedon 0
it's called snapping your banjo string its meant to happen when u first have sex sort of like the girls hiyman but sometimes it happens when u wank
NoahStaz 3
You are an idiot.
RudeRogz 0
You've got no idea what your taking about.
uffiewuffie 0
Wtf?
yadisingh 5
Am I the only who read and thought ".... what?"
Burnbaby 0
Maybe he is talking about an uncircumcised guy with a tight foreskin? Idk so confused.
Noir_Angel 7
Yo know hymens aren't like a covering they don't rip
connorhperkins 9
Uhh no... That doesn't happen.
HannahLouise96 13
That's what happens when you get a handjob off Edward Scissorhands.
McAninch35 9
Oh dear god please make this image go away
bizarre_ftw 22
God: no
ImFrackinBored 13
•_•
Richard16 0
Thats not rare at all...
tencentsakiss 19
It's not rare, as long as the OP is female.
tencentsakiss 19
Oops, OP is male.
Richard16 0
it wouldv been alot more understandable if it was the other way around
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
How on earth could you forget lube? It's not like masturbation, you don't just do it dry. That's how you're shit gets ripped!
omgthatsosuppera 4
Are you sure it was a hand job?
HomeAl0ne 20
Well, to be accurate he did say "hey, pull me off will you". Would that make a difference?
techweed 12
DUDE, can't handle it LOSER!! -Charlie Sheen
alexiskimbrell 0
Lube is optional. Don't listen to what everyone telling you. and if it was your first time, it might of been the giver's first time as well. Next time if there's no lotion or lube in sight, just have the person use plenty of saliva of their hands. And make sure they don't glide their hands down your shaft, for it'll put skin. but instead, keep their hand on one section of the shaft while moving, and keeping it there while moving vertically. (if this makes sense) everyone has a funny or embarrassing sex story. It's whatever. As long as we don't hear about a ******* horror story from you next time lol. No teeth marks dude :)
anannymus 0
Seems like you must be a pro
oops_im_fucked 8
Kinky
diceplaya 12
Is it weird that I got a boner from reading this?
donnasd 0
Yeah what she said
a_nutritionist 10
@24 agreed, im betting the problem was not from friction but rather pulling the skin back too hard, far and fast. even with lube, this is still possible.
coltsrock37 15
Then she's obviously working like a dog to get you that whipped
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!!!!!
hedgerow 0
Really, man?
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
really
pharoah95 5
yes that's awesome
madgrinchhatter 12
The ****?
trellz17 19
Someone tried to give you the super handjob of death. You're lucky you're alive