Rumpkis
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Aurora, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
shmarf
Belton, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Snowball
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
fuck
Cowansville, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Nasty
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
karma
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
First!
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
Embarrassed
🌶️ Spicy
Self harm
Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML
Anonymous
Poland 🌶️ Spicy
Benefits
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
BadBribe
United States 🌶️ Spicy
The pleasure, the pain
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
noname
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Top comments
fmessiah 19
Wipe up, and start again.
C19_fml 9
Well, better luck next time haha!
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Comments (263)
C19_fml 9
Well, better luck next time haha!
quimbi 3
Axe made A commercial about this, except the tv version had to show their armpits.
kbtoyz69 9
hahaha coming in for the suck then BLAM! all over her face LMfAO! very funny!
ceepevoy 0
Someone got overly excited
StoryOfTheYear 15
Jumping the gun will never get you a head start here.
MrLefty 8
Or head for that matter
DynamicDave 11
Haha! I can just imagine the look on her face as you jizzed all over it! Next time try to think about unsexy things. Totally worth the effort, ******** are amazing.
reaganomics 6
The money shot is supposed to happen at the end.....
SenorJose89 4
Sucks that you didn't get the full experience. Would have been hilarious to see though, BLAM all over her face before she's ready haha
jweezy89 4
She must have had mad skills. That'd be my excuse. "Sorry baby, you were just too talented."
jomo111 5
There was a FML post a while back where, from the view of a girl, a guy came before she took her pants off.
aus1095 4
I like your picture lol
scottybhoymad 0
Or better **** next time
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
amateur
boofgall 16
A little too excited.. ^^
Meme1988 18
Well.. The idea of getting one.. Made you so "happy" .. Now think about how it gonna feel to get a real one! Good luck next time
thisisafunnyname 12
gotta learn not to blow the oppurtunity
XxAqwa13xX 6
Love that song!
Soviet_American 29
Rookie mistake
greg84_fml 21
That's happens sometimes, but the more experience you get the less often that will happen.
volley4eva1698 0
Op should jack off more
friedchickenpie 14
No, OP should have said: "BOOM! HEADSHOT!"
KBurns207 17
I've literally never had that happen in my life. Or wet dreams. And I'm 21. I never understood how someone could cum without having had anything touch them. Have lots of sex and you probably won't suck so bad. Just saying.
fmessiah 19
Wipe up, and start again.
thatssomeBS 9
You don't want her to get the easy one... Make her work for it.
22cute 17
I'd say your life sucks - but clearly it doesn't quite yet.
sideshowIFG 0
Happens to the best of us...
BradenLock 4
No. It really doesn't.
breadfruit 0
Eh 14 if it's your first time and you're really anxious and excited it's totally understandable. OP you'll be getting a lot more chances. Don't worry about it.
DjeePee 25
"Eh 14 if it's your first time and you're really anxious and excited it's totally understandable." Yeah, but it still doesn't happen to everyone (I think that's 14's point). The first ******** I gave to my boyfriend lasted more than an hour, so now I'm wondering, what's the less enjoyable for both partners...
Schizomaniac 24
An HOUR? Goodness..
Isoldael 27
42, were you wearing that gas mask or something? An hour, wow o.O
SammySteel 6
42 just can't get enough.
DjeePee 25
I can't get enough? Good heaven, do you know how numb my mouth and how devastated my body felt afterwards? *bad memories*
TruthBeTold36 3
Did he take you to see broadway?
slushpup9696 12
As a guy, I'd be bored after an hour, so I have no idea how you managed to keep that up.
jackdup6 3
More than sn hour? Jesus
sinking_fish 12
105- ...no idea how you did that for an hour. 20 minutes, okay. 30 minutes, ehhhh. An hour? My husband would be so incredibly bored, not to mention my mouth probablyyyy would hate me forever.
fredrikleijon 4
107, i just love how everyone always quotes something from southpark
lmgk 0
Bullshit!
JayJ17 7
That's probably average time in Belguim. Lol
PeteyPablo12308 20
You gotta start somewhere.
AngryCanadian 0
What, no "that blows" guy?
irritatedone 5
Yea I would have sucked it anyway.
Osmness 0
kinda defeats the purpose of a bj :(
rayrayray23 1
That's the point of the FML....
adambomb343 0
Hahaha
graham11 14
No duh dumb shit!!!
lajaynay 15
The first time is usually the shortest.. Try again.
ferrettamer 6
Well, I hope that that is the shortest...
ty1992_farmlife 12
Yeah, it jus takes a couple of times. I'm sure you'll get better dude, everyone does lol
redredblood1 7
First time's the shortest??? I lasted an hour-and-a-half, holy crap XD
blake204 0
Not for me hehehe
onlychildFTW 34
It happens. Don't worry. Next time you will last twice as long!
gandhislayer 6
Um...twice the length of nothing is still nothing. But we get what ur sayin. OP next time just relax. Hell thats the whole appeal of a bj over sex is the relaxation.
elementalz 2
So soon as her lips touch is twice as long still not to much of a bj
HeYHiTmEUp 2
So about a minute :)
abc123cimsmart 3
It's still longer than Justin bieber lasted!
krnpanda 2
Trick comment 176, because Bieber is a girl
lilrocker90 10
But 0*2=0, so twice as long is still nothing
wittygirl 8
Rofl that's classic