Nasty
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
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Top comments
AsainChick 0
You shoul probably get that checked out...
saIty 17
That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.
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Comments (209)
HereWeGoAgain23 4
jeeeeeeeesus, don't yank it off, girl
hippityhopp 2
Was she playing wii tennis with it?
Jimboom 12
Tell her more stroking the pet... less banging the last bit of ketchup out the bottle
moofleputz 0
what makes the grass grow? Blood Blood Blood!
TheNewGuy03 29
Army?
limaduce 5
What is the spirit of the blade
suprmidgt 0
Yeah that'll happen. As you get older if you're you'll get on of the talented ones and that won't happen so much. Congrats on your first handy though. I remember mine.
toelie 26
If she was too rough you should've said something before you got to the point of bleeding.
sunlovinmama 1
De ja vu. Is it just me or is FML reposting a lot of the same old stories just changed up a bit?
kylebeast11 0
Wtf were u on ur period :P? Not normal go an get that checked out
Tyr711 10
LOL should probably stop to think before you get a handy from freddy krueger.
Shans021 4
ok honestly people are just being mean, if its your first handjob it can kinda be like your first time, you are tight down there and you may not have been wet enough.. may sound gross but its the truth if you are worried about it, dont be, it happens sometimes, itll get better with time, next time just tell him to do more foreplay so itll work better dont worry and ignore the losers who are being mean!
Tyr711 10
p.s. this is a dude getting a handjob from a chick, just sayin
HannahLouise96 13
You do know that OP is a guy right?
kylebeast11 0
Haha dumbass!! This is a dude!!