Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
First time?
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Heartless swine
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Follow the script
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Absolute beginners
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
It's just a flesh wound!
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Top comments
Krystal3408 32
Well at least you know he cared.
DanBerryKrinkle 4
oh joshua...
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Comments (141)
Krystal3408 32
Well at least you know he cared.
thejewishfuhrer 17
This is almost word for word the exact same FML as one a few years ago. You can find it in the "Best of" category, except the original FML had the boyfriend call his mother crying afterwards too. Tsk tsk.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well it's not really his fault.. I mean, #1 you have the right idea, at least he cared. Some people can't help but pass out at the sight of blood
rocker_chick105 31
51- I'm one of those people. I pass out even when I get a shot at the doctor's office. This coming from a girl who guts deer. It all depends. OP, your boyfriend sounds like he cares. Maybe wait some time and try later?
Splishie 4
How did she judge halfway?
etoilenuit 15
Maybe he passed out because you were soo good you took his breathe away ;)
SonyIsGod 13
I have a little brother named Joshua, he's three. That makes this all really weird for me. I didn't mean to make that rhyme either, I promise. @92: Breath.
murdersquirrel 15
maybe "passed out" means "fell asleep" in this case?
theseblueeyes 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think he got bored.
Weird_situations 13
Passing out at the sight of blood doesn't mean he was bored
greeneyebeauty9 28
I think he might have passed out due to being nervous. I don't think he really had much attention on the blood.
Miss_Attitude96 24
See I thought it meant he passed out from sheer exhaustion
Darkblade21 20
You're an idiot #2.
jazzy_123 20
what if he passed out because it was too good? Damn OP your boyfriend got nothin' on you! x)
UsernameTaken14 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow :P Thats rough.
DarkPandaXD 15
-_- No. She bled because it was her first time.
flashback_fml 14
Fail
Adeptasaurus 12
Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to bleed your first time. Nothing actually breaks (breaking a hymen is a stupid metaphor) if you go slow and have lots of foreplay you can do alright.
tishtashbat 16
You're right and wrong. Not everyone bleeds their first time (I didn't), but breaking your hymen does happen, if it hasn't already.
limabeans101029 21
It doesn't always happen- with someone women, their hymen is flexible enough to just get stretched rather than broken.
mycatsaysmeow 7
I wouldn't say "breaking" is the right word to use, which I think is the point. More accurately, a hymen will rip or tear a little bit.
jdeezy01 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
We got a bleeder!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
And now we got a dumbass too!!
eatmorewaffles 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you can't handle the sight of a little blood, maybe you should stay away from virgins...or keep the lights off until afterwards. Sorry OP, fyl.
TunaFireStarter 16
Read it again. HE passed out, not her.
Sylvasa 15
most women don't even bleed when losing their virginity...
SirDirtyRedD 15
re read his statement his said sorry op and he ment for her boyfriend passin out during sex dumnass -_-
karystaal 12
#40, your comment made me frustrated.
iAlissa 34
31: ever heard of a ******* "cherry"?
jazzy_123 20
56, well how many women actually do bleed? I don't remember it happening to me and I don't recall my friends mentioning anything like that. This is a serious question, please someone answer it. Thank you x)
cryssycakesx3 23
if girls use tampons they don't have a "cherry"
SammyS2012 21
Sometimes you bleed, but it's never supposed to be a lot, just a small amount. before, they would display the white sheets after wedding sex to show that the bride was a virgin; i think it was the royal families that did that. but if youre gushing blood, it might not be your hymen, and should get that checked out
marzipanimal 15
It just depends on the girl. Some do, some don't. The blood is caused by the breakage of the hymen. Some girl's hymen breaks because they use tampons, sports, etc.
emmaps 3
That's not true. Tampons don't go far enough to pop your cherry
Adeptasaurus 12
****, I already said it but this comment chain is hurting me. Hymens don't break. Tampons can't break anything if there is nothing to break. The bleeding is caused by friction on the (already "open") hymen. Therefore blood is avoidable. It bothers me that some girls in this chain don't know what they are talking about
SirDirtyRedD 15
I love how i get down voted for telling someone else hes wrong when he really is im sorry guy but if he didnt have to be such a fucktard i wouldnt have to get on to him about gettin on to someone else
LtBoom 13
#96, you got downvoted because your grammar sucks ass and nobody can understand you.
jazzy_123 20
73, that's stupid. So if I ride a bike, I don't have a cherry either? because I've heard a bike can pop your cherry too. Whether it's true or not, I don't know and I don't care but it's better to ask than to say it and look dumb.
BreezyBgirl 8
Actually, I bled the first time I had sex.
JoelsLastNight 18
Your a *** head for saying that.
Weird_situations 13
Looks like you're the one who should've been taking care of him lol
DanBerryKrinkle 4
oh joshua...
DREAMCATCHERoooo 4
Perhaps it was his first time too?
greeneyebeauty9 28
It was just her first time having sex with HIM. :P but you do have a point of it might being his first time.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
You don't bleed the first time with a different partner... If you do, there is something else going on.
greeneyebeauty9 28
I assumed he didn't know what exactly what happens when you have sex since it seems it's his first time. Obviously you guys didn't understand that.
TunaFireStarter 16
It sounds like she was the one who was worried about bleeding, hence him assuring her.
greeneyebeauty9 28
I'm a virgin so obviously I'm not going to know much.
ositoakaluis 16
well greeneyebeuty9 when a person and another person like each other they play with each other private parts its called an adult hug
jazzy_123 20
then 33, you should stay out of this because you wouldn't have a clue about this post.
khaoticpanda 28
Its the thought that counts.
MortenM 17
Yea. Lights off would probably do it. Unless too much of his blood went elsewhere
whiskeey 14
It's not his blood
MortenM 17
Well, I was referring as a joke to what happens in men during arrousal. Rush of blood to anywhere else than the head. But don't be concerned that you don't get it...