Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
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Top comments
tnlander 20
The key is communication and practice. If he doesn't tell you what he enjoys you'll never be able to give it to him.
WinterChild 20
I hope you took notes on what he was doing. He shouldn't be rude about it but talking about, and showing each other what works for you isn't a bad idea.
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Comments (127)
mattb77 9
I agree, you can't suck.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Don't take it personally, he has a lifetime of practice. You'll never beat him at beating...
asdadfhowrh 23
But your life sucks.
tnlander 20
The key is communication and practice. If he doesn't tell you what he enjoys you'll never be able to give it to him.
kjdeel 7
hehehe 69 likes on this comment ?
R2Y2 22
I think the person above me is in middle school.
azemazer_fml 17
heheh your comment is the 69th... Kay kay I stop.
mjmaher81 5
The first time anything like that happened to me, we had a similar result. Nerves are a big factor in this type of thing. The more you do this, the more comfortable he (you, too) will be, and you'll have him on a leash.
nyf137 20
Sounds like someone is a little impatient perhaps...
WinterChild 20
I hope you took notes on what he was doing. He shouldn't be rude about it but talking about, and showing each other what works for you isn't a bad idea.
MRS_SILVER 11
Take notes? Really? If he can't communicate with her about it especially when she's obviously trying then she does not need to go through having to watch him jerk off just so she can get the correct motion. He should be the one trying to guide her through it. There's other ways to go about it then just pushing her hand away. That's rude and he should be more mature about it, it's also quite insulting
Arwen_Evenstar 37
He could also just struggle to finish. It's not all that uncommon for men really.
somehappydude 11
I agree, your life sucks better then you. Ok no feel sorry about you
LilMissCanadian 22
Your grammar is making me cringe...
pharaohasphuck 10
Dude really? Do people actually not read what they have typed up cause this comment is just terrible.
Dahvood 6
Not everyone speaks English as a first language
Arwen_Evenstar 37
On the other hand, plenty of people who speak English as a first language do so rather badly.
Jenniesaurus 14
Don't take it personally, OP. Like you, I'm guessing he does certain things that speed along the process, and if they don't happen it takes a really long time. Talk to him about what's good and what's not and it will be significantly better for both of you!
dutchy86 20
practice... practice.... practice! (or perhaps he is just into wanking in front of you) good sex is all about good communication
pdp_fml 21
Practice makes perfect. Just keep trying until you get it.
InnocenceBlue 38
My tip is put your hand on his penis between the base of him and your mouth and move your hand up and down as you move him in and out of your mouth (like a hand job and a ******** at the same time). It can help give extra stimulation. I've been told it's quite good ;) Practice makes perfect honey, no one sucks dick like a **** star on their first try x Ps when you're giving him a hand job make sure you don't pull his foreskin back to hard as you could hurt him.
fariss 14
Can you send me a tutorial video
ObeyTheWaves 11
#27 gets it
Dodge4x4Ram 46
best reply of the year
Elijah0 16
#9 is dead on. I've been with enough ladies to know that what seems relatively straight forward can still be horribly executed. Ladies, don't feel bad, it's just the same as a guy not quite getting it when he's going down on you. I've never had that problem, but I hear a lot of guys do... lol.
ChristinePi 36
I can't imagine how many perverse PMs you're gonna get for this comment.
ProSwimmerFL 16
That was so freaking in depth
Grayness_ 26
Give this woman a cookie and top comment so others can see!
fmlashl 13
actually, I've never done this while giving a ********. No guy I've been with liked it and they ask me to move my hand. Alternatively, letting them set their own rhythm and how deep/shallow they are inside my mouth and me going along seems to work better.
vintageart1994 16
Wow we have the same exact birthday. On another note I'm quite ashamed that I've never been "intimate" with anyone and you seem to be an expert on it. Lol
KrazieKleo 13
Who cares man. You'll get your chance and maybe it'll be worth all the wait. You will definitely have your turn. Be patient!
sylvienoir 18
Another tip - if you're doing that with your hand, have it kind of hit his pelvis each time you come back down. It drives my boyfriend crazy. Also, if you put his hand there instead of yours so he can feel your lips doing it. But I've been doing it on the same guy for nearly 5 years so it might just be him.
JBirdCavender 7
yes! works every time girl!!!! ...... practice makes perfect :)
alexthevaultgirl 13
Actually the first time I sucked dick, I was asked how many I had given XD
Feklfekl2222 32
I can not give a decent handjob to save my life, I'll never be as good and practiced as him, so I just let him do it, and I don't take offence. But if he was rude about it **** him
Abatu 4
that'd definitely solve the problem ... might cause others depending on the OP's age though
Jowisee 29
Same here, I start my hubby off and if I'm not doing it right he takes over. As long as it is all mutual and he doesn't become selfish with it and refuse to do the same for you, then it can be great.
epeeftw 16
Very poor word choice... Or perfect word choice...