Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML
Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML
Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML
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Top comments
RedRose 0
Hahahahahah! Wow. Do you think she was hitting on you?
NikkiJC 0
Ohhh ....FYL. Thats a great mix-up :p
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Comments (170)
voodootrucker 0
maybe he knows something you don't
dormouse_fml 0
This is a cute story, but I don't think it's a FML.
DangerousBabee 0
Lmao xD
k10tree 0
So like, was she hitting on you?
hogermite 0
hyphens are only acceptable if you have personally emigrated. otherwise, it's bollocks.
Shyman4ever 0
Why would you be a
Nightfallz 0
lol@51. it's so easy to get you people all riled up. sadly the only comeback you could come up with is the grammer police. not wise to break out the last resort insults first kid.
iheyman 0
LOL you just made me really laugh for the first time today v
littlegirllove 0
Wow, they do sound the same... sorta.
curryndricegirll 0
Why is that the minute someone finds out you're lesbian they feel the need to tell you that they adore you or something like that? Since when does loving another woman require adoration? Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with lesbians, but I do have a problem with people who act like a shrink in front of gays and lesbians saying (I adore you, I respect you).
omfg_whyGodwhy 0
#90, Oh my God, that gets me so angry! A friend of mine thought she was gay, everyone was all supportive and "adoring", then when she "came out" as straight, no one even mentioned it. OP, you have a cute kid :)