Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML
Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML
Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML
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Top comments
RedRose 0
Hahahahahah! Wow. Do you think she was hitting on you?
NikkiJC 0
Ohhh ....FYL. Thats a great mix-up :p
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Comments (170)
tbbays04 0
reeeeppppppeeeeeaaaaattttttt
CookieSpitOnVegg 0
Uh, screw you, my dad is Lebanese. And, would you believe it, he is still committed to ONE WOMAN. Crazy, I know. He also probably speaks better English than you. Thank you for your stupid comments, but they are quite unnecessary, as no one with a brain would believe that.
TheComputerGuy96 16
This is one of the very few FMLs that made me laugh.
tchaikovsky93 0
Hahaha
Wizardroxx 3
Why are you hating on Lebanese people? Do you think everyone HAS THE SAME NATIONALITY? I suggest you keep that mouth shut, even if it's the Internet because you're not the only person in existence.
demonkey_fml 4
Don't worry about it! You are not the first person (even on this board) that this has happened to!
twistedlilheart 3
Same thing happened to me. My friend introduced me as half Italian half lesbian to this guy, to his credit he said "wouldn't that make you bi?" It took my friend a good five minutes to realize what she said.
dju357 0
ur mom is lesbian and ur dad is gay ! and im lebanese.. and dont u ever say a word about lebanese people u jackass !
toongirl 4
This made me think of 'Outnumbered'!! It made me laugh :)
emsbitch 0
that's like the glee episode...but the other way around haha