Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML
Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML
Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML
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Top comments
RedRose 0
Hahahahahah! Wow. Do you think she was hitting on you?
NikkiJC 0
Ohhh ....FYL. Thats a great mix-up :p
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Comments (170)
Avenging_Angel 0
Lebanese American, Lesbian American; same difference ;D Haha, if I was lesbian I'd so go around saying I was Lesbian American XD
Bryan_Z 0
why is this a fml? stop wasting server bandwidth with your pointless ranting.
delly_fml 0
Ah that's great!
Sweetlilit33 0
This is the first FML that I read that contains the word "Lebanon" or "Lebanese" in it... and Im very proud of that! lol and yes, agreed, FYL!!!
Princess33_fml 0
Same here =) YAY!
LMark 0
Reminds me of that scene from Bend It Like Beckham: "Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!" "Lesbian? I thought she was a Pieces?" "She's not Lebanese, she's Punjabi."
Soreeyeah 17
I loved that part too funny!
Cerataphora 0
I'm just wondering why the teacher would request a conference solely because a child's mother is lesbian.
twisted_goth 0
Mega Douche.
dol567 0
From Hong Kong? And to those discussing hyphenated Americanism...I'm personally not a fan of it, though I understand it, because people always want to identify with their ethnic group/previous nationality. I agree with Roosevelt, though.. I feel like hyphenated Americanism splits our country up, when we are meant to be united. People tend to identify with the first part of the hyphenation rather than with the last. This isn't meant to be offensive at all; rather, I think that it's almost prejudiced to look at someone of color or someone who isn't a "white American "and put a hyphen in front of their nationality just by assumption. But you can't change the way that people identify themselves, and I understand the pride that comes from belonging to another nationality in the States.
clouds_are_nice 0
I thought that lebanese-american meant that one of her parents is american and the other is lebanese and not that she is a lebanese with american citizenship
itsnikk10 0
Hahaha that's too funny. Fyl.
charbelfa 4
u idiots lebanon is not in hong kong. its a country in the middle east