Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML
Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML
Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML
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Top comments
RedRose 0
Hahahahahah! Wow. Do you think she was hitting on you?
NikkiJC 0
Ohhh ....FYL. Thats a great mix-up :p
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Comments (170)
kewlkidd 0
I hate how people on this site judge like crazy. You life is f'd or it isn't. If someone thought I was a lesbian I would be heavily embarrassed because I'm not. It doesn't mean I think it is wrong. What if the teacher was trying to get at her?? Hmmmmm. So thats lame. It was a misunderstanding, why do people get offended for homosexuals? Mmmm. But I LOL'd, I love this one:D Little kids make the world a giggle. Little kids are the best.
Princess33_fml 0
You are gay =)
darkmis1 18
A**hole
emikinz 0
LMFAAAAAAO
purple_ninja_grl 0
This doesn't belong on FML. It belongs on "Kids Say the Darndest Things."
carriedawn 0
This reminds me of that episode of the Golden Girls... Sophia: For starters, Jean is a lesbian. Dorothy: Ma. Blanche: What's funny about that? Sophia: You aren't surprised? Blanche: Of course not. I mean I've never known any personally, but isn't Danny Thomas one? Dorothy: Not Lebanese, Blanche. Lesbian.
JRSpaniel 0
Heh, kids...
EasilyUnamused 2
Hehe I'm Lebanese too and this has happened to me numerous times. People always go, "You're lesbian?!?" It is awkward if one person says it and a bunch of people overhear, so I know where you're coming from. Have some Tabouli and Bak Lava. You'll feel better :)
Madman85 0
# 131 very true. I would think the same.
Adriennerox211 0
irisjkid25: your a gay jackass. You fail at the game of life. -.-" OP: thats kinda cute :)