Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML
Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML
Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML
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Top comments
RedRose 0
Hahahahahah! Wow. Do you think she was hitting on you?
NikkiJC 0
Ohhh ....FYL. Thats a great mix-up :p
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Comments (170)
angorashi 0
#8, idk, but i'd be something along tge lines of russian-english-australian-canadian-american. Scary thoughts, let's leave it at that ;o
dancin303 0
do you have citizenship's in all those countries. cause if not your just american.
tigerisabelle 31
Soooooo... in other words... you're white.
allmidnighteyes 11
Haven't a few FMLs of this sort already passed through the moderating?
Mata_Hari 0
Eh. Kind of an old joke... not that it couldn't happen, but you know..
americayay 0
Agreed on the lack of relevance, but I don't think she was saying there was anything wrong with being a lesbian, just a bit awkward to have her sexual orientation brought up in a conference at all.
BAbyR 0
aww. im half lebanese. im going there in a couple of days=) im excited. its absoutly beautiful=)
Psodium 0
Be careful with female teachers.
elara15 0
Hey, be relieved your son's teacher isn't a bigot who would punish your son for who she thought was raising him.
koaoak 0
that made my day
Overcast117 5
Theteacherwantsinyourpants/10.
irishkid25 0
ydi for being a lesbian
darkmis1 18
1) the OP isn't a lesbian 2) even if she was, there's nothing wrong with it.
Migrane 0
was it the kid that miss understood or the teacher
Cloudy_fml 0
I'm thinking the kid mixed it up.