Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my man complained about having to listen to my "emotional problems for hours." Yeah, we did talk for two hours, 90% of which was him asking for my advice on which new mattress to buy for his bed. FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Well, if you couldn't woman up and just tell him how you feel, you can't exactly complain when he dates other people.
gracehi 33
The friend zone: Not just for boys.
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Comments (66)
californiachloe 13
Why are you giving him advice that is obviously working if you love him?
fmlashl 13
because she's not being selfish and manipulative..
more4me 27
BECAUSE she loves him. And because she's a good friend .
Wakachulak 22
Yes, all the above but also because she doesn't have the guts to admit how she feels.
crandel 11
If she really loved him and was a good friend, she wouldn't be complaining that he's happy. In reality, she's just too wimpy to tell him how she feels.
SpartanMerc 18
Could just tell him that you can't give him fair advice because of your feelings for him. It's called grow up and use that backbone. Be direct and honest, if he doesn't like you back, at least you know, and at least he'll respect your honesty, and your feelings. I honestly don't understand why people can't just be grown ups about this sort of thing.
xluciferx666 21
That sucks OP I have been there before but you are a good friend for giving him advice even though you probably wanted to just scream that you love him
gracehi 33
The friend zone: Not just for boys.
TheOneAndOnly5 12
The friendzone doesn't exist. From what I gather, the op hasn't said anything to this friend, so how can he know anything. This friendzone is a position she placed herself in by not saying anything
danceinconverse 25
The friend zone: doesn't exist.
BaKuTay 14
How do you know OP is a girl? Edit: saw OP's username... Nevermind, safe to assume she's a girl.
gracehi 33
"The friend zone doesn't exist": Claim made by snotty know-it-alls with no sense of humor.
CaptMacLeod 45
Yet it does. When your crush sees you as such a good friend that they will share all the intimate details of their relationship(s) with you. You're the first person they call when they've had a fight. You hear about every romantic thing their SO does for them. And because you're not a douchebag, you don't take advantage of it. I was into a girl who did this even though she knew how I felt. She wouldn't go out with me because she didn't want to risk losing her best friend. There is no friendzone that you do not walk into voluntarily. But once there, it is difficult to ever leave it. And we're still friends.
Dave_Davington 34
Well, if you couldn't woman up and just tell him how you feel, you can't exactly complain when he dates other people.
more4me 27
Maybe she did and he's not interested ?
MrConcise 35
Oh jesus, are we really doing this "woman up instead of man up because gender equality" stuff now? It's just a saying, I don't think any feminists would be offended if you told OP to man up.
jerryj 27
I am deeply and horribly offended that you didn't capitalize the "J" in Jesus.
Dave_Davington 34
Check your privilege, 17, and stop tone policing me, you oppressive, experience-erasing dudebro! But in all seriousness, "woman up", just makes more logical sense when the OP is a woman. I can assure you, I'm not exactly a fan of Tumblr feminism.
MrConcise 35
Those are all terms Tumblr has started using recently? I haven't been keeping up with their nonsense. Thank you for enlightening me, those all sound hysterical. Off to Google for me!
ohSNAPyall 27
If she told him, and he's not interested but continues to ask for dating advice, he's a heartless bastard.
countryrose92 23
Hey, I've been here done this with my ex, he asked me advice about a girl he was talking to and how he could change to get her to like him better, had to hear about the awesome sex the next day. He knows I still love him he also knows that living on opposite sides of the country means we can't do anything about it. I feel bad for the op cuz I know how it feels
SubparAtBest 23
Um just tell him gow you feel? Probably shoulda done it before the date though..
dantee2005 33
Well at least you know his preferences for future maybe?
davincidasecond 24
If you haven't expressed by now how you feel, you're pretty much just putting yourself through this. I get being a good friend, but if you feel that way for him, it shouldn't be bottled up.
Zarokona 9
Maybe you should direct your own advice to yourself.
nash1991 20
Sex on the first date... that must have been some pretty good advice
Jflowers9296 14
You should just tell him how you feel honestly. Maybe he will respond back with mutual feelings or maybe not. If you're too nervous it might ruin the friendship then just stay friends but don't talk about him and other woman for a while. Anything is better than torturing yourself by listening to how he goes on dating and the after date sex.