Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
Rawr_Imadinosawr 0
Does he ask you to hold his purse too? Dump the douche.
FHGrif 0
Your not lucky that he didn't break up with you. He is a prick.
martic835 2
What's sad is he probably wasn't joking.
2011_fhal 2
ur lucky he didnt break up with u never take a mans food!
Lightslei 0
Was this at like BK, Wendys or McDs? If so I can understand why he'd be pissed, I can swallow the burgers from those places whole. In a sense this is a YDI because you ate his burger without asking. If it was at like Ruby Tuesday or something then: In the other sense this is a FML for dating a chid. Some of those burgers are huge.
mckkayua 0
break up with him. you seriously better
ragsy 7
Why do women always eat everyone else's food? "Oh I don't want anything." Then it's, "Oh I'll just have a bite of yours." Order your own damned food!
ObSCENEx 3
your boyfriends got issues. dump him for someone who will share
Sinisin2010 0
Some guys like to eat and if you don't respect that, then you aren't respecting the relationship! Don't mess with the food...
Darlatan 0
All of you have such a one track mind. Did you ever think that she just wanted to TASTE it? There's plenty of times I've gone out with my boyfriend or someone else and I ordered something that I liked, but what they ordered looked interesting and different from what I thought it would be. Thus, I asked them if I could take a bite to try it to see if it's something I would like next time. And seriously, men taking a bite out of women's food is way more annoying because THEIR bites are usually huge and take almost half the meal! Whenever my dad wants to try something of mine, I only let him if I can live without half of it.
Lightslei 0
Usually I'd tell you to order and if you don't like the taste, I'll buy it off you. Or tell you to order it if I plan on paying for the entire thing anyway. And never underestimate how much someone can eat.
KB616 11
I could not agree more. Having a shit fit over a taste of a burger, & threatening to dump her? There are plenty of much saner, more mature ways of simply letting her know that you'd prefer if she didn't touch your food. Jeez. And to the asshole that said SHE should be cooking for HIM: get off your lazy, sexist ass & cook your own god damn food. And try paying attention next time; they were at a restaurant. Should she of went in their kitchen & insisted she prepare their meals, not the cook? Ugh now I remember why I don't normally read the comments.
Jman1906 2
Bitch, first rule is never touch our food! JK JK Thats hecka wack!