Major red flag
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
qwerty3210 0
YDI for being a dirty *****, what gives you the right to touch his ****** food? I HATE ****** like you, you always do the same: u go to a restaurant and say you arent hungry, and then mooch of the guys food like the fat cheap bitch that you are. from all men who have been in this situation: **** YOU AND GET IN THE KITCHEN
FYOL 0
lolol loser boyfriend
lovestinks456 0
**** him. dump the jackass, he needs to grow up and learn not to be such a drama queen.
qwerty3210 0
get in the ****** kitchen
some_girl9 8
Qwerty3210, go back to your blowup dolls and your lubed up hand, since that's the closest thing you'll ever have to love. Loser.
qwerty3210 0
@some_girl9, I do admit I got carried away by the prodigious stupidity of the female pre-adolescents on FML these days, yet both you and I know that the situation which occured between the OP and her partner was indeed the OP's fault, as what she ceased to include in her post was that she infact declined to order anything for herself, as she was "not hungry". I do, however, agree that the OP's partner went slightly to far by threatening to break up with her, yet nevertheless he was in the right to be enraged, as it was his purchased product which she knowingly (and I quote) "stole" from him. It's funny that you of all people try to depict some sort of social flaw from my comments. Your nickname is "some_girl9". Being a Psychology Doctorate, american girls never cease to amaze me by how easy they are to read: I'm guessing you are between the ages of 13 - 16, as your sexually orientated comment seems to suggest. You have a very small circle of friends, but unlikely have any true friends at all. You are what is generally referred to as a "loner". Few people at your school actually know your name and do not wish to, yet that does not stop them from mentally abusing you over the course of various years to the point where you are reduced to self-punishment. This has given rise to your username, "some_girl", which is what you have overheard people say on various cases when they are referring to you. You have hardly begun the turn of events which will slowly ruin your life, and are probably at the stage where you are still crying yourself to sleep every other night and wondering why it is you that is the "outsider", and slowly believing that it is infact your fault. You can have comfort with the fact that you are still several years away from what may very well be the last decision in your life; whether you should or shouldn't take your own life. You will most likely answer this assessment of your being guaranteeing that I am completely wrong, and that you are indeed one of the most popular girls in school. You will do this as you seem to think you have to regain your self worth online, and the easiest way to do so would be to fantasize that you are indeed that popular girl which all the guys like, and graphically depict her life, pretending it is yours. You will wrap up with an insult to my persona, most likely calling me a "child" of some sort. I wish you a good day, Dr. Qwerty3210.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Qwerty321, you are a prepubescent moron, on top of being a troll.
qwerty3210 0
"You will wrap up with an insult to my persona, most likely calling me a "child" of some sort." Thanks for proving my point moe :D
tb15 0
if you really are a psychology doct'rate, qwerty, what are you doin troll'n on fml, and shouldn't you be tryin to fix peoples problems not tel'n um to kill themselvs btw, here sum psykology for ya, you'll never get a woman if ye don't show em sum respect yes i knowz my spelling and grammar is wack
wordgirl 0
Qwerty: |^^^^^^^^^^^||____ | The STFU Truck |||”"‘|”"__,_ | _____________ l||__|__|__|) |(@)@)”"”"”"”**|(@)(@)**|(@)
qwerty3210 0
fair enough, I should be, but this amuses me! :-)
Hammerhead_AX 0
For someone with a "Psychology Doctorate" (which I seriously doubt, given your suggestion that some_girl9 kill themselves) you display a curiously sexist attitude. First, you suggest that a (presumably) female user "get in the ****** kitchen" and only bring out the psychoanalysis and academic superiority when called out on it. Then you defend yourself by assuming, as have many other users before you, that, being a woman, the OP obviously declined getting food herself, without considering the possibility that she had, in fact, ordered her own meal and simply wanted to taste her boyfriend's as well. You may attempt to break down my comment all you want and tell me all the glorious insight you have magically discovered about what a pathetic person I am in an attempt to distract from the facts, it won't change anything. Hide behind your supposed intellect all you want, your sexist comments are no better than any of the prepubescent drivel scattered over this site.
some_girl9 8
Well then I hope YOU dumped HIM right then and there! FYL. Let him die alone.
onnielief 4
The correct respons to him would have been " Consider yourself dumped" Why the hell would you keep him?
goldbarz 0
Your boy needs to learn some manners or take a hike. You deserve better than that. Honestly, what a douche bag.
gagtjs 0
dumb him hes a ass its a burger!!!! for gods sake i would understand if hes the HAMBURGLER but OMG!!!!!!!! ITS A BURGER THERES ONLY ABOUT 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00 COUNTRY!!!!
xcalx85 0
Are you dating Joey Tribbiani? "JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!"
QTaznHawaii 0
he's retarded. dump him.
deaditegirl 0
YDI for dating such a moron.