Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
allysgotstyle 0
Lmfao @ #31.
hansbans11 0
if my bf or anyone for that matter said that to me I'd be out pretty damn quickly. ydi for not leaving him.
SmakMyDerb 0
he's a bitch. and he needs anger managment classes.
Gank25 0
You need to drop that pansy and get a real man! I don't even know the guy and i want to kick his ass.
giggleygirl 0
#45 that's sooo awesome , revenge is sweet! haha
mbbarrett1986 0
your boyfriend sounds like a real dick... i would have broken up with him as soon as he said that!!
nabzilla 0
break up with him, he's too much of a pussy. i wouldve ended it cos he threw a fit as stupid as that.
Mr_26 0
by your own admission you said you stole a bite and stealing, especially from loved ones is just plain wrong
gozar_fml 1
Just the fact that you think a burger is "expensive" is an fml in itself.
THFCGTFC 0
Sounds a good bloke to be fair. If you wanted a burger, you should've asked him to buy you one. But instead you probably said 'nooo it's fine' then tried taking the mans food. If I'm somehwere with a girl I've no problem at all with buying her food if she asks, but I'll never let her 'try' some of mine. If she wanted what I had she should've ordered it.