Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
machinedreams 0
Yeah, I've heard this one before. Not an FML.
radge 0
Your writing style suggests to me that you and your girlfriend can't be much older than 12. In which case, I don't blame her for not knowing.
Brittanyy 0
Beggars can't be choosers.
average_girl 0
#196 i know what ******* is.. i just didnt get what he meant at first when he wrote this.. did she actually blow air on his penis?
sLap_fml 0
that is cute, she will learn, don't be disappointed in her!
average_girl 0
#196 i know what a ******* is.. i just didnt get what he meant when i first read this.. so shes actually blew air on his penis?.. alright i didnt catch that at first so dont think ur smarter than me (ignore comment #202.. i messed up)
randomcrazyshit 2
y it it that she has to be innocent to not know what a bj is? i know several girls who have had sex.... a lot of sex, but have never given a bj
breaksprinter_ 0
There is a difference between not knowing what a ******** is, and just not giving them or having never given one. I can say, from experience, I didn't fail my first time; quite the opposite actually, and that was before I'd ever had sex.. so it can go either way but I don't think it really matters if she didn't know what it was or how to do it, we all have our areas of expertise and apparently her's has nothing to do with oral.
marycjones 0
Lame FML. I think she knew what a bj was, but was just messing with you.
NicGstfsn23 0
well wouldnt you rather her not know what to do then to have her be a expert b/c she gave so many guys bj?