Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I found out the guy whose ass I used to routinely kick in high school is now dating my 19 year-old daughter. FML
Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, my dad took me to a Yankees game at the new Yankee Stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I yelled out, "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
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Top comments
staaacey 30
I'd like someone sticking up for me. are you sure he was weird and not just trying to help?
jojimugo 20
Not all hero’s wear a cape
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Comments (31)
jojimugo 20
Not all hero’s wear a cape
RichardPencil 32
Yes, but all *heroes* know how to spell and punctuate the plural so you don't confuse it with the possessive.
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
actually most don't,
jbuckets_404 39
Now, now, Richard! Don't start going all possessive now on trying to be the sole Grammar Nazi here on this FML pg.... Smh ;-) Yes, I know irritating it is to continually see misspellings online despite our civilization's many great technological advances, but we minders of all things literary still need to allow for people's use of mobile Auto-(In)Correct if us "edumakated" ones are to preserve what little sanity & normal blood pressure we still have. Just a thawt, Puddy Tat. ;-)
staaacey 30
I'd like someone sticking up for me. are you sure he was weird and not just trying to help?
Memnoc 26
Or for that matter, that they were even talking about OP. Maybe the "weird dude" does have a daughter, who just happened to be 5 meters away?
jbuckets_404 39
Yea, it's one thing to simply make a point by embarrassing a young "punk" for making a sexist remark with a single retort, but to send down an on-going deluge of recrimination sounds like somebody else is in need of counseling and/or meds....
staaacey 30
possibly. but I'm not sure what OP would consider "quite a while".. it could have been just a minute of this guy letting them know why that was uncalled for. I'd probably still buy the guy a beer for getting people away from me, considering it weirds me out and makes me uncomfortable when this happens. maybe the guys shouting at women need some meds too :)
BurnInDemonFire 39
What's the problem? Some guy stopped you from getting catcalled, and that makes him weird? Because he pretended to be your dad to scare them off? Or because you like getting catcalled, and this guy ruined your fun? It was a pretty clever idea, really. He knew they were more likely to back off if he said he was your dad, as opposed to revealing he was a random member of the public. It might have been awkward, but it worked, so be happy. Unless you liked it.
Miss_Red 18
No woman actually likes being catcalled or sexually harrassed in public.
tounces7 28
So you know how every single woman in the world thinks?
jbuckets_404 39
Tounces7, there's a big difference between being catcalled with a sleazy, sexist remark from a stranger vs. the same by a guy friend in jest. So yea, she can speak for all women of the world when it comes to sexually-based disparagement (from both genders). Cuz' she is a woman (unlike us two) who has to put up with all of the sh*t said & done by dumb-ass sexist men everywhere she goes, just like every other woman in the world. Shalom!
Shawnie Gallant 24
It sounds like he was saving you from being cat called and potentially destroying your risk for being assaulted. I would have bought that guy something as a thanks.
RichardPencil 32
He was either a hero or a really clever perv! What was his ulterior motive: to defend an innocent girl or to get ... dat ass ... for himself?
PenguinPal3017 19
This dude was helping you and you call him weird? smh. Next time I hope he joins in with them.
bl3ur0z3 17
That's actually kind of sweet. He saw a young woman being harassed by a group of guys and stepped in.
Nhayaa 21
You meant "awesome", not "weird", right? Because if more men were that weird, less women would be harassed or raped.
Leviathene 34
^^^ THIS
Mellissa Maxwell 7
Oh my god stfu.. Cat calling doesn't equal that she'd be raped, god damn. Can't someone with a normal sex drive lift a girl's spirits up? For all these StRoNg independent women, why do you need not her man to save you? Be proactive. Carry a taser, mace, or other self defense item and pull it out it if you verbally telling them to **** off turns physical.
faifai_fml 21
SeXuAl hArAsSMeNT LIftS mY SpiRiTs Up!
Miss_Red 18
yeah!! i love being sexually harrassed in public.. said no woman ever.
alycion 39
I know in today’s social environment it’s not too common, but the term is not weirdo, it is good citizen. Maybe he paid attention to how people are being treated and decided to do his part.