Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
qetzacoatl122112 0
Ohhhhhhh.... That took me a while to get... I think I made the same mistake #2 might have made, I didn't see the "blow ON" part...
funnyyy 0
this is america..how does she not know how to give head
Piemarz 0
#257 I have never agreed on a post as much as yours. #256 Your the biggest idiot I have ever met. You reek of illiteracy. Get a job you lazy sod, bloody 151 comments. Learn how to spell you tosspot. Abstaining until marriage is the biggest con in the world. If anyone manages it then they have set themselves up for a life of sexual frustration. Having sex before marriage should be done frequently, but other sexual practices are good. BTW, your pledge will fail, you'll be the one who ends up pregnant after having drunk sex with soem guy you met at a night club.
martymcfly12 0
She's cute
jman10135 0
lol, serious? Omg that's hilarious! Must have been awkward...
scateice 0
#256-your a ***** if u have sex BEFORE MARRIAGE?? The usual age for having sex is 18 or 19 you prick
funnyyy 0
your not a ***** if you have sex before marriage. everyone does it. and if you make that gay pledge honestly hun what the **** does that do for you? after marriage you can be like yay i never had sex until after marriage.? COOOL! no one gives a shit. and did you make that pledge because you're too ugly for anyone to want you.?
Crueldeath 0
did it felt good? haha xD
TevinFAME 0
People see ******* and they get happy, this keeps getting comments. HAHA
Marijuana_Dog 0
She probobly does know what a ******** is, she probobly just didnt wanna give you one...