Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shemp_5 14
Dont ask, dont tell...
ScottVining 21
You sorta had that comin haha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
Shemp_5 14
Dont ask, dont tell...
incoherentrmblr 22
Well, you live in New Jersey, so, you know...
Senorangelo 10
She could have said that she is practicing with him so often. It may be hurtful to say something like this when already married. Marriage is a new beginning, everything before has to be forgotten.
Malahkaa 19
Did she mean six guys today, or six guys ever?....
ScottVining 21
You sorta had that comin haha
foxwasalamb 24
he had that cumming*
kurodansei 16
No SHE had it cumming. Give credit where credit is due.
saba_ajira 29
Never ask about experience. You won't like the answer.
onlychildFTW 34
It's true, practice makes perfect. Just when it comes to sex, never ask how one got so good. There can only be one answer.
TheNewGuy03 29
Heh, I think some guys go into relationships expecting virgins who have no idea what they're doing. It applies not just to sex: sometimes, you have deduced the answer to something, but still know it's better off not asking, because it leads to stupid bullshit.
mackles22 2
you shouldn't of asked....
8313girl 28
I've never seen so many people type "of" instead of "have" until I got onto this site. It's baffling! Some people have to go back to grammar school.
mif_fml 27
You're and your is so much worse..
teyyoshi 19
utterly agreed ！it is of great help for guys learning English like me ，correct spell ，plz
reaxion 25
#35: Oh Portal 2, how I miss thee!
Cbizzlez 10
Kind of one of those things that you don't ask questions about and just enjoy the fact that someone is sucking your dick
foxwasalamb 24
you are male, assuming you're straight, what if another guy just jumped on your dick? would you still live by your advice?
Chaith 16
Well, he sure wouldn't be asking about the guy's credentials, so, his point stands. Lol.
10splayer 5
Aaaaaaand... now you know.
Thorvald22 17
Why would you ask a question like that without expecting an answer you wouldnt like?
sn24swim 13
wife-1 you-0
devildog562 33
Correction wife: 7(including him) Husband: 1 since he is still getting a blowy!
RedPillSucks 33
isn't there a fairytale about 7 in one blow
Mr_Duckingbergh 13
To be completely honest 6 guys isn't that much. I have heard of 20 etc. But not to mention you did ask and hey at least she's honest.
Mimi12589_fml 10
Yeah, unless she used the rule of 3 meaning she actually practiced on about 15 guys ! Which seems even fairer to me :p
Arcanel 18
would actually be around 18, you multiply by 3 lol
annarcheer 19
in the same day or life time.?
CoGhostRider 31
Don't ask, doesn't matter
grogers311 20
"In a row??!!"