Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
chocolates 0
LMAO #2
taden 0
looks like shes a virgin, lol wait till you rip that "lower part" and she starts to walk like a penguin
taden 0
looks like shes a virgin, lol wait till you rip that "lower part" and she starts to walk like a penguin
dillinger_fml 0
So it's your opportunity to teach her. Be supportive, no need to make fun of her for this. And if you are complaining about her ability to give you oral sex, you better be damn good at doing it for her!
luanamendes 0
dude, I bet she knows how to give head. maybe she just has an awesome, sarcastic evil sense of humor like me.
xsouldeath 2
#3 is right. Lol she BLEW AIR ON IT. I'm guessing that's what he means. Look up while doing it and going deep and attnteion to theheadis really good. Ask to **** her face instead. that outta teach her lol
kellster 2
UM. Has she never been outside, watched TV/movies, or spoken to other human beings before?
average_girl 0
huh??? how is ur like ****** if she said it was good???
magiczipperman 0
#195, she literally blew on his penis. u must be way too young to know what a bj is.
choppedNskrewed 0
TIP: don't ever ever ever ask her for a cleveland steamer.........or an angry dragon (not that you ask for either of those but still...)