Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I'd touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
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Top comments
Llamassss 21
Dip his mouse in the toilet.
Olovio 5
Spray hand sanitizer in his eyes!
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Comments (173)
bubo_fml 11
I would suggest "stink palming" him, but your OCD/germ phobia may prevent proper retaliation...
Errienna 0
MissBunnyWillEat : Suck one ! Mad because you weren't number 2 ???
MissBunnyWillEat 11
Errr... Hardly. I think you missed my point entirely. I would gladly suck one. Just not your genital wart covered shlong. Thank you, and goodnight.
Errienna 0
bitch you thirsty.
JinxosGirl87 0
Wait until you have to sneeze, stop right over him while he's at his desk, then let it out all over his face. Wipe your nose and rub it on his sleeve as you say, "Sorry, didn't see you there..."
briaa23 4
i woulda punched him but thats just me. walk by him and turn to him as if someone called your name and cough right in his face and be like " did you call for me?"
bizarre_ftw 22
You had a workplace meeting about just your issues? Alright, I get why, and that was a jerk move from your coworker, but I think I see his juvenile logic
littlemeg 5
maybe I'm a bitch, but you seriously had to have a workplace awareness meeting about your phobias?! sure the guy was a total jerk, but an entire "awareness meeting," really....?!
nubx 0
Yeah, your being a bitch.
HomeAl0ne 20
Well, it certainly sounds like he's aware of her phobia to me. I'd say that was one very effective meeting, wouldn't you?
stevenmx86 8
Sounds like a bully when the bullied tell their mommy to make the bullying stop... You brought attention to your problem to everyone you had to know everyone wouldn't be adult about it..
MrJojobinks 6
That is just disgusting, whether you're afraid of germs or not.
Jasonf6 0
Report him or get back at him.
mutinykitty 18
That's really gross, but ydi for needing a meeting about your fear of germs!