Work Gross - FML

Gross

gotanewmouse - 26/09/2011 10:37 - New Zealand

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

911 - 13/11/2008 03:57 - France

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

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Roostermann25 - 31/05/2016 01:34 - United States - Lebanon

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

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Say it, don't spray it

Yak - 09/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML

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Memorable presentation

paul - - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

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New face

Anonymous - 02/11/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML

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Anonymous - 18/03/2017 03:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML

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Not now, dude!

sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

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Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

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Chill out, Kathy

nearly a crazy lady - - United Kingdom

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I'd touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

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Gross

maddie - 15/05/2020 05:00

Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML

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Llamassss 21

Monday 26 September 2011 15:56

Dip his mouse in the toilet.

Olovio 5

Monday 26 September 2011 15:57

Spray hand sanitizer in his eyes!

4ugu4 7

Monday 3 October 2011 8:28

This my friend, is true love.

MISSJMAGIC 6

Monday 3 October 2011 8:39

he must hate you...

Taidashar 0

Monday 17 October 2011 0:18

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... totally deserved it! Hahahahahahahaha

BBYgirl_22 3

Monday 24 October 2011 8:44

ocd or not, what your coworkers did was sick. **** your life, however, because your job had a meeting about you & your dumb ass fear.

at0micmin3r 23

Monday 7 November 2011 6:46

You TOTALLY set yourself up for that one. YDI.

Candygirl720 6

Friday 9 December 2011 3:29

Yo should have spit in his drink and tell him right after he finished it

Gmax884 2

Wednesday 11 January 2012 10:48

I feel you I got OCD too I'd quit that job!

kkrazyangel 16

Tuesday 25 September 2012 13:50

Strangle him with the mouse!

KingreX32 21

Tuesday 13 November 2012 6:35

what a dick. take a dump on his desk.

amadisdemitrius 5

Wednesday 10 April 2013 21:33

This post should have started "Today, I had to drown my colleague in the toilet because..."

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

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Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

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Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

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Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

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Today, I had to deal with a snobby rich woman who asked me to cure her daughter's "unhealthy obsession" with playing outside instead of watching TV with the rest of the family. She called me a liar when I said playing outside is a normal thing for a 6 year-old child to do. FML

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Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. It isn’t acrimonious, no-one cheated, but his life will apparently “improve immeasurably” now, while mine will basically crash. I’ve spent the past 5 years working on improving as a person for him, and I thought I’d succeeded. FML

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