Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML
Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DiversityHD 16
That is not very hygienic. He should have nose this.
KayDee29 31
Just go ahead and chop that hand off, OP. Just to be safe.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (45)
keithsbooty 20
That's gross! But at least you have a new job. Congrats!
DiversityHD 16
That is not very hygienic. He should have nose this.
ThrottleJockey 36
The things one does to land a job.
ssnow_fml 20
Sounds like a good welcoming gift.
Suaria 38
Don't you know OP that is their way of making a secret handshake?
Speedy1979 13
He should've washed his hands
TonierShadow 19
Well now you're bonded for life.
Speedy1979 13
He should have washed his hands what a duscuting person
arano 29
You could've NOT given him a handshake. It's a very valid option.
arano 29
I've never seen someone just grab another person's hand and shake it. This guy has all kinds of I'll mannerisms.
OrganicSistah 17
Eew I wouldn't have let him touch my hand. Or offer him my other hand.
pandalover69 26
You don't shake with your other hand unless you physically can't use the right one. Traditionally, you only shake with your right hand.
devinaww 15
amazing....that you accepted his handshake lol Pass him a tissue to give him a hint?