Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I'd touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
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Top comments
Llamassss 21
Dip his mouse in the toilet.
Olovio 5
Spray hand sanitizer in his eyes!
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Comments (173)
perdix 31
He didn't want you to have an irrational fear of germs, and use that to get sympathy and special treatment at work. After you catch his cold, your fear of germs will be rational and well-founded. Then you can add a heaping helping of paranoia to list of mental illnesses. With OCD and paranoia, delusions of grandeur add a nice kick to the Crazy Stew.
lidemocr 0
My thoughts exactly.
beebeeL 1
That's when you take some of your feces & smear it all over his desk chair & keyboard !!!!!
mjninety 9
And that's when you get fired
violetbcracecar 15
Take it down a notch there, bud.
KhronicSmoke 2
Tell your boss!!!.. Or.. Get back at by sabotaging his lunch
Brooding99 15
Wow OP, fyl. But seriously, as a cynic, this amused the hell out of me. No matter how gross it is, ocd or not, its somehow made hilarious because you're a germaphobe.
mistersheezy 7
That's a sticky situation
Schumy0724 4
Shit on their car
s1d1ouz 2
Sneeze a bubble snot and stick it to HIS mouse then get a video of his reaction XD
BloodyMary666 24
That´s gross, no matter if u have OCD or not! :S
Lenho 26
That's fckn gross. You should take revenge, whether it's by telling your boss or actually getting done one of the previous proposals.
essex 17
Wow. Just...wow. I hope you went to your boss, OP. I'd love to see the coworker's file after an incident like that. "Bob spreads germs like an inconsiderate jerk." Try to not stand too close to him. He's probably also stopped showering and will rub up on you to spread the wealth.