Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, I walked into the office bathroom and saw my manager in tears. I tried to comfort her and gave her a hug. Turns out, she wasn’t crying, she was having a sneezing fit, and looked horrified at my sympathy hug. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML
Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML
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Top comments
starberries 0
Introducing yourself to the new manager gets you bonus points and a raise? I would have thought that was basic etiquette.
candy29 10
why didnt you just turn your head? you cant tell me you dont feel them coming
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Comments (71)
candy29 10
why didnt you just turn your head? you cant tell me you dont feel them coming
JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0
Exactly my thought.
afghan_angel 0
well I guess he wanted to make a really good impression :P
ATL_chris 6
nice first impression
KingDingALing 9
Maybe it was sudden?
rallets 23
"hi, my name is..hi,my name is..hi, my name is... *sneeze sneeze sneeze* ...slim shady"
tj79 3
Hello my name is..... Slim Shady mother ******... oh and I just gave you a cold... give me a raise bitch or next time it's herpes
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
same thing happened to me when I was working for Barbra Streisand, just say it was how you were brought up to meet people. just in my case it was actually how I was brought up...
I_iz_special 0
I wish I could shake my boss's hand to get a raise. If that was the case I'd be rich.
daltreix 3
Why hello there Aaaaaachhhhhhhooooooakcosckoskckdlckd, how do you do?
Arsonnist 3
How do you spell that?
McMan 23
Ahchoo :P
caester9 0
gross
hairt 4
EWW YOUR PICTURE LOLOL
BizzaroG 0
So....about those bonus points....
skyeyez9 25
You can feel a sneeze about to happen! You had time to turn away and sneeze. ydi
Terezi 0
OP, when people say they like an in-your-face attitude, I don't believe that's what they meant.
DarkHelmet 10
no raise for you sneezey!!
XXXL87 0
idiot. cant you tell when a sneeze is coming? and I hope u get fired
stephanie911_fml 0
10th prestige?
carcinogan 0
beast.
littlexlion 4
"Need a Moment? Chew it over with TWIX"
airforce987 20
This.
zp5 4
win.
DarkHelmet 10
LMAO Epic Win!!!
wwerulez14 6
He's gonna need more than a Twix to fix this lol
twinny_sc 13
That is a sign that you shouldn't be a kiss ass.
RedPillSucks 33
She might have enjoyed a sneeze up the ass.