Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard during a meeting that my glasses flew off and hit my boss in the face. Now everyone keeps jokingly ducking every time I look their way. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That snot good for your career.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
There is no excuse for sneezing on someone else- You know it's going to happen so cover your mouth. If you don't have a hanky or don't want to sneeze into your hand or sleeve, pull your shirt up around your face or do it into your jacket.
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Comments (11)
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
There is no excuse for sneezing on someone else- You know it's going to happen so cover your mouth. If you don't have a hanky or don't want to sneeze into your hand or sleeve, pull your shirt up around your face or do it into your jacket.
species4872 20
Apparently you have never suffered from an immediate, uncontrolled sneeze. Not all sneezes have a build up.
tantanpanda 26
That's just an excuse. You can't sneeze without inhalation of air. That still gives you time to sneeze downwards or into your shirt. It's a YDI and I'd be pretty irritated if I were the boss.
RichardPencil 32
That snot good for your career.
GofuckY0urSe1f 2
hey at least your boss didn't walk in on you jerking off in a bathroom stall while you were on break
RichardPencil 32
So what happened when you got caught?
GofuckY0urSe1f 2
he just said: do it at home and not here. now get back to work and dont let me see you doing it again' so i just pulled up my pants and walked back to my desk and we never made eye contact for 2 weeks
Nancy Tate-Leach 4
Count your blessings. Our pup was doing that but she wasn't so lucky. Turns out she had cancer and she died a few months later.
KFrankly 18
حبيبي
Lazy34 7
Reminds me of the time I had a cold and leaned over to look at something my professor was showing us and my nose uncontrollably leaked onto his papers.