Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
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Top comments
dwhite312 0
he has manners. what's the problem here?
SpicyDuck 22
you're gonna find panties under his pillow.
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Comments (149)
FML_in_general 0
i fail to see where the "FML" is here....
genesisnirvana 11
She's telling her bf that he's getting lucky when he gets off and he replies by saying don't touch anything in my room which sounds suspicious.
SASA4810 0
i fail to see how you spelled all those words right when you aint even smart enough to get that this is an FML
Livinia 11
OCD boyfriend?
dolphincheddar 10
mind
OceanProtection 0
^ His name is Dolphincheddar.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Tell him you won't be touching him anytime soon either.
kroekdog 7
i hope you didn't touch anything...
mynameis1339 0
Respect OP
kaylapple 1
hes hiding something.
kingtz 6
Like ****?
shoopd 19
Yes, I like ****. Why do you ask?
schoolgirl94 0
he must hate u
structuredchaoz 4
Yea. He's likely hiding something. Maybe you should rethink this
Saltime 0
Or, as other comments suggest, he could be hiding something he doesn't want her to find... ...Like a signed Beatles record!
Piinkdottx3 5
when when he says don't touch anything, that's when you snoop around to find what that bastard is hiding!
firefail1031 0
no that's when you don't touch anything. maybe there is something important in there he doesn't want broken. Or maybe her engagement ring is sitting somewhere. Or maybe she's just nosey and goes through everything that's not hers.