Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
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Top comments
dwhite312 0
he has manners. what's the problem here?
SpicyDuck 22
you're gonna find panties under his pillow.
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Comments (149)
wtm318 2
he's cheating. i know from experience
TobyFunke 3
you don't know, a person saying "dont touch anything' can mean many things. I agree that it means he's hiding something from her though. He could be hiding a ring he just bought and is coming up with a way to propose, he could be doing meth that's hidden in his drawers, pot, cigarettes, anything. Doesnt have to mean he's cheating
NYBellz 0
he's gay or cheating
LuvvvML 0
Hahaha
omnipotency 0
atleast he didnt ask you to leave and call the cops =P
vbmg152 19
There must be a reason.... Are you clumsy??
ultra_notorious 26
talk about ruining the mood, hope you kicked that clown out of bed and took care of business yourself
wierd1919 0
You shall find a bra in his closet and many used condoms under the bed ^.^
Contivity 1
there must be a reason for he to say that... I'm leaning on YDI
fantasyworld 39
Some people just don't like their things being messed with or rearranged.
cirice 7
I'd try not to be offended if I were you, OP. I have OCD and even though my room isn't clean or organised, I have severe panic attacks when people rearrange my stuff. I can just walk into a room and FEEL that my stuff has been touched, even if put back where it was. He may not have OCD, but many people do experience the same thing with being uncomfortable with their things being touched.